Self Destruct
by Toaduss
Summary: With the 14th slowly devouring his mind and the life he fought so hard for rapidly caving in; who would've thought a certain unwilling Samurai would become his reason not to self-destruct? Yullen
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys! I'm finally righting a proper story for D Gray Man, instead of all the usual one-shots. Hope you enjoy it! ^_^

By the way...

_These are thoughts_

_**And these are the 14**__**th**_

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Chapter 1

_Lonely_

_I feel so lonely here, and yet..._

_I know I'm not alone._

_That mocking laughter never seems to cease within my mind._

_A constant, unwanted reminder of a destiny I'm so desperately trying to fight._

_I'm slowly going insane..._

_Just like he wants me too_

"_The 14th"_

_The source of my hatred is shrouded in mystery._

_I know nothing about him, but I crave the knowledge to defeat him._

_I'm slowly being taken over..._

_I can feel him, crawling further into my consciousness, as I feel mine slowly being dragged deeper into darkness._

_His voice, the gentle whisper, has turned into the shouting voice of scorn and sarcasm._

_His eyes, the emotionless circles of white, have turned into golden eyes that gleam with ridicule as they watch me._

_He, the ever watchful shadow, has turned into the Noah who silently walks by my side._

_**And there is nothing you can do about it.**_

Pale grey eyes snapped open as Allen jack-knifed off of the bed. Breathing hard, he spun in the room, searching for any other sign of life besides himself, before dropping to the floor in relief. His trembling hand wiped at the beads of sweat clinging to his pale face, before he dug his fingers into his silver hair and let out a shaky sigh.

_Another nightmare..._

He remained silent as he pushed himself from the floor, it was only then he noticed his food laid out on the table of his cell. Ignoring it, he moved back towards his bed, flopping down onto it before he flung his arms over his eyes. He shouldn't feel this drained after simply getting off of his bed, yet the fact that he was was only further proof of his over exhaustion. Allen didn't need a mirror to know there were large purple circles under his eyes, or that he now was nothing but a shadow of his former self, both physically and mentally. The only food he ate was brought from Head Office by Link, a rare occurrence that resulted in him rapidly losing weight; and with nothing but silence as his companion, he was left alone with his thoughts, and that of the Noah hiding within him. The 14th had a way with words, only ever saying things that would stab and tear at his heart, slowly crushing Allen's will power as he grew in strength.

_**You're mind is deteriorating a lot quicker than I thought it would**_

Allen moved his arm so he could glance at to his right, and saw the Noah staring back at him. It wasn't the first time the Noah had come to him like this, yet every time it still took a lot out of the young boy to reign in his fear. It wasn't the Noah himself that Allen feared, but the new form he had taken. The last time Link had come with food the Noah chose to make an appearance; he picked up a chair and **flung** it across his cell towards Link – who was sitting on the opposite side of the room, trying to comfort Allen. What he thought was nothing but a figment of his imagination, had now transformed into a ghost visible only to himself, but with powers that all could see. After that incident Allen was moved into a cell deeper underground and further from the order, making him even more vulnerable to the torturous words of the Noah.

_**My name is Neah, not Noah. Is your mind so far gone that you can't even distinguish the two?**_

Allen watched in disgust as the Noah made a point of walking to the table and scraping a chair to stop next to the bed, before taking a seat.

_**Even now, you choose to defy me Allen. Why is that? If you were to give yourself to me now, things would be less painful. Your mind would remain intact, your soul untouched; I may even allow you to gain control of this body every now and again... and you would finally avenge your "father" who the Millennium Earl turned into a monster.**_

Allen chose to dismiss the pang in his heart at the mention of Mana, rolling onto his side, so his back faced the Noah. He'd learned a while ago what arguing with the Noah resulted in. Silence of both the mouth and the mind was the best option, but sadly, it was something he had yet to perfect.

_I'm not going to become another pawn of either you, or the Millennium Earl. I'll beat the Earl my own way_

A loud chorus of laughter broke the silence of the cell; contempt continuing to bounce of the high brick wall in echoes even after the laughter stopped. Allen closed his eyes and prayed for dreamless sleep to come, as well as for the Noah to disappear; but instead, he found himself wrenched back onto the bed. He didn't even attempt to hide his fear as the Noah held his wrists to the bed, the weight of his body pinning and winding the exorcist; but still, he remained silent.

"_**I'll beat the Earl my own way"? Such childish and naive thoughts for such an intelligent and mature demeanour! You, a child whose mind is being crushed by my WORDS ALONE, honestly believe you could ever last against the Earl? Believe me child, the only reason you have survived so long is because you were an amusement to the Earl, when he found out I dwelled within you, he began to protect you instead. Don't delude yourself into thinking it was with your own power that your friends survived.**_

Allen focused on his breathing, trying his hardest to fight the truth warped by the Noah's lies... but he couldn't. Allen's mind was nothing more than a plaything for the Noah, who pushed a different button whenever he got bored. If he couldn't beat him, how could he face the Earl?

_...I'll beat you first. I'll drive you back into that dormancy, kill the Earl and kill you along with him. I'm going to take complete control over my mind, and I'll never see you again._

A feral grin spread across the Noah's face as he let go of Allen's now bruised wrists, sliding away from him, and into the shadows of the cell.

_**The funny thing is, you may have been able to beat me... If you stayed in this cell**_

The cell doors burst open and men streamed in, Leverrier walked in with and ashamed looking Link to his side.

"Allen Walker, you're being returned to your place in the Black Order. You're to be sent back to your post this instant," It took a moment for the man's words to finally sink in, but when they finally did, a whole new fear settled in Allen's heart.

_If I go back... he'll go with me. He'll hurt them; he'll try and gain control so he can destroy the innocence and the order from the inside out._

Allen lashed out as soldiers began to grab at him, using every part of his bound body to convince them he deserved to stay in the cell.

"NO! I'M NOT GOING BACK! YOU CAN'T MAKE! LET ME GO! YOU STUPID SON OF A—" Multiple pin pricks to his body cut him off and his body suddenly became limp. Whatever they injected him with was working too damn fast, and all he could do was force his eyes to stay open as soldiers picked up his body. The last thing he saw with his blurring vision was the 14th standing next to Leverrier, smiling happily.

_**I'll be waiting until you self-destruct, Allen Walker.**_

Then, everything went dark.

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Should I continue?


	2. Chapter 2

Yay for quick updates! Enjoy ^_^

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Chapter 2

_Even in his sleep he is plagued with nightmares_

Link's eyes remained on the silver-haired exorcist's trembling form. The wet fabric of his dirty prison clothes clung to his sickly thin frame as he lay curled up on the cold, hard floor of the Black Order transfer van, sweating profusely. His fingers were pressed against his ears and his eyes were clamped shut, soft whimpers escaped his lips in the rare moments that his teeth weren't mercilessly chewing at them.

_Right now, he looks more like an innocent child than a exorcist_

Link silently crept over to the restless body, and it was only then that his gaze settled on the tears streaming down Allen's pale face over a huge set of purple eye bags. His lips moved slightly and Link leaned over to hear the barely audible mumbling.

"Stop... Earl... can't be... weak... must... protect..." The few words were enough to make a whole new kind of shame rake through Link's mind as he settled back on his seat.

_Even now... even when he's like this... all he cares about are us..._

Link tore his eyes away from the boy and stared down at his clenched hands, cursing himself for his stupidity and cowardice; his thoughts trailing back to another day he'd most wanted to forget. He could still remember the pain that flashed in those pale grey eyes as the wooden chair crashed into his side, sending him flying into the firm brick wall of the prison cell. They were the only two people in the room, and Link knew he was not the one who caused it... so he assumed it was Allen. Instead of checking to see if Allen was okay, he'd turned and sprinted from the cell, running from whatever had come to them. It could've been a Noah for goodness sake, but the idea never crossed his mind as he ran to Leverrier and reported an attack. What should have crossed his mind was the man's hatred for the innocent exorcist. Before he could even clarify his story Allen had been moved into a completely isolated cell 100 metres underground... where he was left at the complete mercy of the 14th, and whatever that thing was.

_And it's all my damn fault! What the hell was done to him, for him to receive nightmares like this?_

The metallic smell of blood hit the air and Link spun around in search of its source. Allen's hands were no longer covering his ears, but were now instead clawing at his arms and legs, easily shredding both cloth and skin. A blood curdling shriek erupted from Allen's cracked lips, both shocking and terrifying the van's occupants as it rung through the confined space.

"GET OUT OF ME! GET THE FUCK OUT OF ME! GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HEAD!" Allen crawled over and started smashing his head against the stainless steel of the van walls, his own blood pooling around his knees from the multiple, self-inflicted slices to his limbs. "GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!" With each scream came another smash against the van, even more blood splattering against its surface. Finally Link shook himself from his shocked stupor and ran over to Allen to try and help; he reached out to grab Allen's bloody arms...

Just before his back cracked against the opposite side of the van.

He howled in pain before he sunk down, gripping onto his throbbing shoulder as he glanced up at where Allen sat.

It was then that he stopped breathing.

Black lightning was crackling all around Allen's figure, moving over his body like a protective shield. It glided over his skin and his bleeding ceased, before the destroyed and damaged cells began to repair themselves. Allen's frantic movements came to a halt and his eyes flashed open. But just as suddenly as it came, the lightning was gone. Allen's eyes rolled into the back of his head as he collapsed against the van floor again, barely even breathing. The van was plunged yet again into its reasonable silence. Link thought that the ordeal was over, and began to let out a shaking sigh as he closed his eyes.

_**Such a beauty... How typical of me to be attracted to such a beauty.**_

Link's head snapped to his right, his eyes connecting with sharp, golden ones.

_No... impossible..._

_**Believe it "Link"**_

The name was spat out like an insult as the Noah turned, before kneeling down in front of the petrified guard. He smiled, hearing the hard pounding of his prey's heart as he reached out to grip onto his shin.

_**And... I don't like people touching my things.**_

A stomach-churning scream was accompanied by a sickening crunch as the Noah yanked the shin upwards, shattering his knee as he pulled the limb a full 90 degrees, leaving Link's own toes pointing towards the tears screaming down his face... all the while wearing an innocent smile.

_**Now you can kiss your own feet! ...And if you don't want to die, I advise you start kissing mine too.**_

Link's vision began to blur as the hot, sticky feel of his own blood was absorbed into his clothes

_**Allen is MINE, never touch him again.**_

Those were the last words that Link heard before he fainted from the excruciating pain.

**

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**+8+8+8+**

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"What?"

"I said, Allen Walker is going to be rejoining us. He's being returned here, and I'm forbidden to give you any further details on the matter but..."

Komui's sentence was drowned out by the loud cheering of his friends at the sudden announcement. Lenalee jumped in joy, before latching onto Lavi's arm and causing him to blush heavily. This in turn, led to another assassination attempt from another one of Komui's robots, resulting in more scrap metal after Lenalee trashed it. But even so, a bright smile was plastered to her face, and the faces of all of Allen's closest friends, as they took in the "good news".

If only they knew what was _really_ coming for them.


	3. Chapter 3

Here you go guys! I'm a bit unsure as to whether this story is going well, so tell me if I should continue. Enjoy ^_^

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**Chapter 3**

"...Allen?"

It was her petrified whisper which broke the silence.

They knew he was coming, that he would be arriving today.

They knew that after the protesting, petitioning and fighting that Allen would be returning to the Order; that was the reason they had now gathered at the gates.

_But... is that Allen?_

Lenalee remained frozen as the hollering figures of her teammates ran past her towards their "friend", towards "Allen".

Prison clothes, which may have once been white, were now dyed maroon with drying blood. The wisps of the shredded clothing that weren't dyed the sickening red were dark beige, the colour clothing turned after being doused in salty sweat and tears. The tatters which only months before would've fit him perfectly, now hung off seemingly fragile limbs; accentuating his skeletal frame. His silver hair that used to shine in the sunlight now hung in a tangled mess down his back, matted to his scalp with even more of his own blood. His state was that of someone teetering on the line between death and insanity, a terrifying place for someone with his strength to be. But, the most horrifying thing, his pale grey eyes which used to sparkle with happiness and burn with determination...

Were lifeless orbs of defeat.

Lenalee rubbed at her eyes frantically, brushing away tears and hoping to God that this was a nightmare; but when her eyes next opened she saw an even more gruesome sight.

She watched as a large group of medics carry out Link from the back of the van, and looked upon his grotesquely deformed leg.

This time, when she closed her eyes, it was only so she wouldn't have to see her own stomach content that she emptied on the floor.

_What the hell is going on?_

***O*O***

Heavy eyelids slowly cracked open to find several worried faces hovering above them; only to have more come into view as they ran over to his side.

Allen blinked at the bright light above him, before moving and trying to push himself up; numerous pairs of hands were immediately on him, making the transition easier. He remained silent when he was sat up right, his eyes focused on his hands which – after noticing the scars of slashing upon his wrists – he hid under the blanket. A silence filled the hospital ward, everyone to scared to so much as breathe before Allen did so himself.

That was, until Jerry slammed the door open.

"Allen!"

Said person had to grip onto the side of the bed so he wasn't knocked off of it as the cheerful Chef tackled him.

"Oh, how I have missed you so! Ever since you left I've been over-cooking and having Komui complain about my food shopping bill! Look at you, you're so skinny! What, have they been starving you in that stupid place? Those people are shit heads! Come, come, I've brought you a proper meal! Welcome back Allen!" It took a moment for Allen to break out of his shocked silence, but once he had, he did something he'd never do again.

He laughed.

Not the pained, sarcasm laced chuckle he'd grown accustom to in his nights in the cell; but a genuine one, that sounded good even with his raw voice.

"Thank you Jerry! I missed you guys as well! I was so bored over there!" A smile plastered his face and eventually everyone was reaching over to give him even more hugs, the heavy tension replaced with one of joy. His friends sat around him, eating from the ten trays over packed with food that Jerry had somehow managed to bring to the room. He was with his family, back in his home, and was finally being fed decent food without any drugs slipped into them. He should be absolutely ecstatic...

So, why wasn't he?

Why was it then instead of truly relaxing; he was using this false peace to force down the images of what the Noah had done Link in the van?

Why was it, that he was still, too aware of the Noah who was standing in the furthest corner of the ward, watching him?

_**Don't get too worried Allen, I'm not going to ruin your little get together. I promise you, on my hatred of the Innocence, that I will give you some peace of mind for a little while. Besides, I need to recuperate after saving your sorry ass back there in the van... and, it's more fun to play with you when you least expect it.**_

"Allen!" The exorcist spun round only to have a spoon shoved into his mouth, "Try some, try some! It's Beijing Fried Rice, I made it myself!" he slipped his fake smile back into place as he ate Lenalee's rice, commenting on how good it was. When he next glanced at the corner the Noah was gone, and he let out the breath he didn't realise he was holding; even as another of Komui's robots flew past him to attack Lavi.

***O*O***

"But i don't understand!"

Kanda Yuu's raised voice echoed as the body of Alma Karma, harbouring the soul of his long lost lover, continued to crumble in his touch.

"Please listen to me. It's true, that you and i were lovers – but that was before you were placed into this body, and before I in that of Alma Karma. When you were placed there, your soul fused with that of the owner of this vessel, but as the more powerful, you were the one who took control... but over time, that hold has weekend. Kanda Yuu, as the original owner of the body – you have no connection to me. You should not die before your time as another child fatality. I am leaving this place, however because of the atrocities I've committed, I'm NOT sure as to where I shall end. My lover's soul is content at just seeing me, at knowing the truth, even now I can feel him dying within you."

Kanda jolted at her words.

"There's only me here! Just me! I'm the one who's dying here! I'm dying because you're leaving me again, after so long!"

"Yuu..." The ethereal hand fell upon his cheek, caressing the marred skin gently, "My lover is dead. It's his memories which are now talking, not you. I'm begging you, live and do the things which we could not do. Besides... we both know that your heart is harbouring love for another"

Kanda's movement froze completely at the set of pale, grey eyes which came to mind. He violently shook the image out of his head, but it was only then that he realised it was the floor itself shaking. The garden within the numberless room of the Arch was crumbling, along with the remains of Alma Karma.

"Yuu... Thank you for all you have done, for reuniting me with my love. With the last strength left in my soul, I shall restore you completely, both your physical body... and your regenerative powers. Use them well, and stay at that person's side" Kanda could feel the sudden heat spreading through his body, coursing from the hand on his face.

"Please... don't do this..." His hopeless whisper fell on deaf ears,

"Thank you Kanda Yuu... but that person needs you more"

Kanda bit his lip hard, trying to silence his sobs as tears stained his face.

"That person... Allen Walker"

***O*O***

A blinding light filled the hospital ward as the gate opened.

Speechless and wide-eyed, the people watched as Kanda's fully healed body fell through the gate, landing on the tiled floor before the gate shattered into numerous shards of light.

_**Oh... how very... interesting...**_

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Tell me what you think guys!


	4. Chapter 4

Hey guys, there's three different people's thoughts in this chapter, so I'll try and make it obvious so there's no confusion.

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**Chapter 4**

"Kanda..."

Allen's voice came out as a trembling whisper, his eyes never leaving the body laying next to him.

He could still remember the chaos that occurred after Kanda had fallen through that gate last night. The first being how he was pretty much interrogated by his friends; the second being how everyone ended up running around like headless chickens after Kanda's appearance, not quite sure what to do. It was funny actually, and he couldn't help the smile that graced his lips as he thought about it. Komui had informed everyone that the rust covering Mugen had completely disappeared, and it was back to its usual self; Allen couldn't help but eye the weapon which was placed next to Kanda wearily.

_That thing has caused me more than enough hell for one lifetime..._

"Ngh..."

The quiet moan made Allen's eyes flick back to Kanda's face, which was now wearing a frown. The silver haired exorcist couldn't help but smile as he leaned over, brushing some of Kanda's hair from his face. When Allen realised what he was doing he pulled his hand back, sighing heavily.

_What are you doing? Idiot... The love of his life just died, and you're sitting there hitting on him in his sleep... Have you forgotten who else is watching?_

Allen tensed up at that last thought, his eyes scanning the more or less empty ward as he tried to pick up any mocking laughter...

There was none, but that didn't calm his nerves in the slightest. Still, even with the Noah watching him from somewhere he could never reach, he found his eyes drawn back to Kanda's sleeping form. When was it that he had fallen in love with the dark haired samurai? Was it when Kanda had first stopped him being consumed by the Noah, back when they'd first discovered level 4s? Or was it that night, when Kanda had tried to kill him thanks to the gatekeeper's mistake? Allen wasn't quite sure when himself, but what he did know is that it was that feeling that drove him to do so much for the samurai. Even when it meant falling into the control the Noah and turning the Order against him, Allen had sacrificed himself in a heartbeat. Sighing, he couldn't help reaching out to the dark exorcist again, his hand brushing more stray strands of hair from his troubled face.

_His hair is like silk... Jeez, look at me; I'm acting like a lovesick puppy. So what if he's back? His heart still belongs to his old lover..._

Allen lowered his head, his silver hair obscuring his vision of the one he loved.

_I have no chance, and even if I did before, I definitely don't now. LOOK at me, I'm hideous and mentally unstable. How can he love someone on the verge of becoming Noah – the very thing he was created to destroy? How can I EVER tell him the truth about my feelings? How would he react if I ever did?_

One pale white hand curled into a fist as his list of faults continued within his mind; and he hated that most of them were the rare, truthful words of the 14th.

"If only... I could tell you the truth... about myself... would you believe me...?" The silver haired exorcist gave another, deep sigh, before he finally raised his head.

Midnight blue eyes connected with his...

And his blood ran cold.

_Shit! He's awake! What bad bloody timing! Did he hear what I just said?_

Realising his unclenched hand was still cradling the samurai's cheek, he tried to yank his hand away, only to find it in Kanda's tight grip. He winced slightly as the samurai sat up, trying hard not to tremble at his fear that now always accompanies another's touch.

"Moyashi..."

Allen couldn't help the tiny shiver that ran down his spine as Kanda called out the nickname with his deliciously, deep voice. He tried to focus as his mind began to rise into a daydream...

"What happened to you?"

Then he came crashing back down.

Allen felt his heart sink, all too aware of the meaning behind the words. _What happened to you? You look even worse than usual! How disgusting_, he couldn't help the sudden onslaught of tears he felt as he dropped his head.

Meanwhile, Kanda's gaze remained glued to the wrist in his hand, his grip now softening and loosening. For reasons beyond his understanding, he found his heart throbbing painfully at the sight of the viciously marred skin.

_What the hell had happened to him while I was gone? Allen was always annoyingly cheerful, and his random swings of depression barely lasted five minutes before he was back to his usual self. What in the world forced him to do this to himself? How many times has he sliced this delicate skin? How many times has he tried to kill himself?_

Kanda could barely contain the fury boiling his blood, his anger directed at whatever may have caused harm to his Moyashi...

_Wait... MY WHAT?_

Allen's hand was dropped as if it was on fire, and he looked up just in time to see the horror visible on Kanda's usually unreadable face. He could feel his heart aching terribly, and he couldn't help the tears falling as stood from his chair.

"I'm hideous, I get it, I don't need you to remind me" His defeated tone caught the dark haired samurai by surprise, who eyes widened as he realised the silver-haired exorcist was crying. Allen was already half-way to the door by the time Kanda realised the double meaning of his words.

"Allen! Wait!" He did the opposite, keeping his head down as he ran as fast as his limbs could push him, barging past Jerry and his trolley of food before disappearing round the corner. Cursing his own stupidity, Kanda kicked his blanket aside and was on his feet, sprinting after the silver-haired exorcist.

Jerry stood there, absolutely astounded by what he just saw.

_Did Kanda just leave Mugen behind?_


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guys! There's gonna be multiple thought again in this chapter, just a word of warning. Enjoy ^_^

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**Chapter 5**

_Damn it!_

Allen's weakened legs finally gave and he fell to his knees, panting hard as sweat dripped off of his face.

_I hadn't realised I'd become this unfit... I need to work on that._

Allen's limbs burned as he slowly raised his head, realising that he'd come to the grassy cliffs surrounding the Black Order*. Even in his state, his mind couldn't help but wander back to the times when he used to sneak out here and watch Kanda practice. He could remember how much effort he put into staying unnoticed, hidden behind the trees, crouched down in the thick foliage. He could also remember every time he'd been caught and ended up with Mugen pressed to his throat. Even then, he couldn't help savouring the sight of a shirtless, sour faced Kanda covered in, sweat with his hair messy and untamed. It was days like those that left him spending a little extra time in the shower, and even now the thought made him shiver. It was sad. It was pathetic. It was the highlights of his life.

_But that was before, everything's changed now._

He slowly tangled his fingers into his hair, roughly gripping the silver strands.

_That was when I was still alive. What I have now isn't a life. When was the last time I didn't fear the Noah inside me? When was the last time I felt enough confidence in myself to stand up to him? The powers which I've prided myself on for so long have become useless – without them I'm nothing. I'm just another stupid, naive child who thought I could change the world. And just like the rest of them, I've failed. I swore to protect my loved ones, but all I've down is put them in danger. Link was trying to help me, and look what happened to him! What's going to happen to Lenalee, to Lavi – to Kanda – if I stay here? They're the first ones he's going to hurt! Me sitting here acting like an infatuated fool isn't helping anyone!_

"DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT!"

Allen fists pounded into the ground, hot tears pouring down his face as he cursed his own incompetence. He was so lost in his self-loathing that he was completely unaware of the figure that was standing only a few metres behind him, watching with an aching heart. Kanda was bent over, trying to regain his breath after his run; not using his legs for so many months meant it took too much effort to keep up with the silver-haired exorcist.

"WHY THE HELL AM I SO USELESS? WHY AM I THE ONE WHO'S MAKING EVERYTHING WORSE? WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE ME WHO THE NOAH HID INSIDE OF? WHY CANT I EVER BE HAPPY? FOR FUCKS SAKE WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE ME?" His angry screams broke off into loud sobs, but he continued to smash his fists against the ground. Kanda was already moving towards the distraught boy, but the bright crimson glimmer on Allen's knuckles forced him to move quicker, despite his throbbing muscles. Just as Allen hand rose to strike the ground again, his wrist was caught in a soft, but restraining grasp. His whole body went stiff.

"What do you want?"

Kanda tried to ignore the slight pang in his chest at the tone Allen used, he'd never heard his voice so devoid of emotion before.

"Are you willing to hear me out this time?" Kanda sighed at the silence he was greeted with, before letting go of the captured wrist and watching fall lifelessly to the ground. "Can I take a seat?"

"Do as you wish," Kanda ignored the cold reply and took a seat next to Allen, trying to keep his worry off of his face. He scratched his head as he thought over his words, before finally taking a deep breath.

"Look Moyashi, I'm sorry about what happened back there. I didn't mean for it to come out the way it did. I wasn't talking about your looks; I was talking about the scars on your wrists." Allen unconsciously pulled on his sleeves to cover his now bloody hands.

"Fine, you've said your peace. Now go," It was the complete opposite of what the silver-haired exorcist wanted, but he would rather be separated from the dark samurai than know he saw him breakdown like this.

"I'm not going anywhere Allen; even if it means dragging you back there myself I'm taking you back to the hospital ward... I... I'm..." Kanda bit his lip; he could practically feel Allen's eyes watching him expectantly. "I'm... w... wo...worried..." He glanced to his side and saw that Allen was now had a smug grin plastered to his face.

"Is the almighty Kanda Yuu admitting that he's worried about me? And right after he APOLOGIZED?"

"What are you, a moron? I'm WORRIED about what Lenalee will do to me if she finds out I made you exhaust yourself too soon, idiot! Now get up!" Kanda was on his feet; his signature frown was back in place and he was glaring down at the exorcist. A moment passed before Allen burst into a loud guffaw of laughter, clenching his sides as he fell onto his back. Kanda fought the heat which suddenly rushed to his face and the sight of a sweaty, laughing Allen spread on the floor beneath him. He shivered slightly as he pushed the thoughts to the back on his head. "GET UP MOYASHI!"

The exorcist stopped laughing all together.

"My name is Allen Walker, not _Moyashi_!"

"I have yet to acknowledge you, therefore you remain as Moyashi!"

"MY NAME IS ALLEN!"

"THEN QUIT SITTING HEAR SULKING AND MAKE ME ACKNOWLEDGE YOU, RETARD!" Kanda reached down and grabbed Allen's hand, yanking him as gently as possible from the ground before dragging him back towards the order. Both of them felt the spark of heat from where their skin connected, but both decided to stay quiet. Allen tried to wish away the pink tint on his cheeks, while it only caused the samurai even deeper confusion.

_My heart ached when he was upset, it sped up when he laughed, and it jumped when we touched._

_What is WRONG with me today? _

***O*O***

"He did what?"

"It's love I tell you! Love! It has to be for Mugen to still be here!"

A small crowd had come to gather in the hospital, all in awe at the weapon without its master. Jerry was having more than enough fun making up stories as to why the two had run away, leaving it behind.

"Jerry, isn't that a bit over the top? This isn't the first time Yuu's chosen to punch Allen instead of slice him, there's no love in this at all." Lavi was leaning back in his chair, swinging his innocence around, and was apparently the only one not believing the story which Jerry was spouting.

"I'm so happy they've found each other! They'll be even more happy than me and Eliade!" Krory was sniffing into his napkin, happy tears running down his face as Lenalee patted his back gently.

"Kuro-chan, it's not the same. You people are expecting the impossible, I'll bet my left eye that they'll come in screaming like usual" Lavi sunk deeper into his chair, heaving a deep sigh.

"Sh! Here they come!" Everyone fell silent and waited in anticipation.

The door opened with quiet creak and the two exorcists walked in, completely oblivious the gawking crowd.

"I KNEW IT! I KNEW THEY WERE TOGETHER! THEY'RE EVEN HOLDING HANDS! CONGRATULATIONS GUYS!" Jerry was bouncing up and down, and it was only then that Kanda realised he was still holding Allen's hand. He didn't just drop the hand this time.

He threw it away and propelled himself a couple of metres from it.

"THAT'S DIS—" He caught himself when he saw Allen's face droop slightly, quickly changing his words. "INSTEAD OF STANDING THERE MAKING UP STUPID LITTLE STORIES WHY DON'T YOU GET BACK TO WORK OR SOMETHING! YOU!" The passing nurse jumped, terrified. "HIS HANDS ARE HURT! FIX THEM! THE REST OF YOU, GET OUT!"

The crowd quickly dispersed, leaving a very annoyed Kanda, and a very amused Allen behind.

* * *

*The old building has been rebuilt and they've all moved back, by they way. I probably should've mentioned that earlier -_-;


	6. Chapter 6

This may contain spoilers if you guys are reading the manga, but aren't that far into it yet. Enjoy ^_^

**

* * *

Chapter 6**

_**So this is the infamous Black Order, huh? I expected more from this place...**_

The Noah silently stalked the halls of the Order, with its inhabitants walking by as if he wasn't even there. His biggest advantages were that only Allen could see him; and the fact that most of the Order thought the silver-haired exorcist was already insane. The Noah could wander through the Order as much as he pleased, memorising its layout and finding out the personalities and skills of the people who work here.

_**But that's just too easy**_

"Miranda! Are you going to visit Allen?" Neah looked up at the Chinese exorcist, her short hair a dark green blur as she ran past him. He observed her as she talked with the other female exorcist, before a sinister plan began to form in his head.

_**Wouldn't it be funny if the exorcists, the "sworn protectors of the people", were the very ones who destroyed the Black Order from inside out?**_

An evil grin began to spread across and he found himself ready to follow this female exorcist with the strange innocence. Never before had he seen an innocence which used the very blood of its owner as its power source. This "Crystal Type" Innocence was something incredibly powerful, and was something he knew could be of great use to him in the future.

_**And if it's the heart, my advantage over The Millennium Earl would simply increase**_

A cold shiver ran down Lenalee's spine, and she found herself looking over her shoulder because of it... little did she know of the devilish golden eyes staring back at her

"Are you okay Lenalee?" The pixie-haired exorcist turned back to Miranda's sullen face, smiling her reassurances before waving goodbye. She skipped with barely contained joy all the way back to her room, greeting everyone she met with a seemingly glowing smile. She's decided to take the longer way to her room to avoid the incredible clinginess of her older brother, and shut her door with a loud, but satisfied sigh. She wasn't aware of what had slipped through the door behind her.

"A bath would be good right now... perhaps it's good that nii-chan is the Supervisor sometimes" She pushed off of her door and made her way to another door, which seemed to lead to her own en suite bathroom, yanking her neatly folded towel from her bed on the way. She closed the door with a quiet shut, the lock sounding before the sound of running water sounded. Neah (fully aware of how long girls can take with these things) decided to take a seat at Lenalee's desk, as his integrity would never allow him to enter while the female was bathing. As he gently pulled the chair and took his seat, he became aware of the dark emerald book in front of him on the desk. Raising an eyebrow, he reached for the book, its satin cover pleasing to the touch even though its weight was slightly discomforting. Another dark grin broke out on the Noah's face as he noticed the black words strewn across the front in Chinese scrip.

_**A Diary? How very convenient of you Miss Lenalee Lee**_

He turned the pages of the surprisingly thick book, flicking past numerous dates until he'd reached last nights entry. He took amusement in Lenalee's memory of what he'd done to Link's leg, and he couldn't help but smirk at his own memories of the incident.

_**The man deserved worse for daring to lay hands on my property**_

He continued with his reading, his eyes flicking to the door every now and again to ensure that the exorcist wasn't finished – not that he really needed to. Eventually, his eyes fell upon the part which he wanted, and his attention shifted fully to the book in his hands.

"...he just fell through the gate. It was so completely uncalled for and random that it took all of us quite a while to even breathe, but when we did, all hell broke loose. I ran to Kanda's side, shouting for help from the others and he was quickly moved onto the bed next to Allen's. Half of the gathered crowd had turned to Allen, "The Pianist", hoping he'd had something to do with the gates sudden appearance. It wasn't that much of a surprise that he was just as clueless as we were. As the doctors and nurses rushed past me to get to Kanda my brother slammed the Ward doors open, with a completely normal Mugen hanging gingerly from his hand. It took quite a while for all of us to settle, but even when the others did my heart was still hammering against my chest. Not out of fear, but out the pure happiness on the verge of exploding as a happy cheer. Kanda was back. Kanda, who had always held a special place in my heart, who always treated me differently and never, ever raised his sword to me... He was back, here, at the Order. Even if he was heartbroken, he was still here; and even if it takes me years, I'll win him over. I'll _finally_ have _the chance_ to win him over! I'll fix his broken heart, and erase his memories of _that woman_ – whoever the hell she is. I'll be there for him in every way I can; I'll be the close friend that he's always needed! And I know that one day, when I finally tell him that I love him, that he'll be there to say those words back to me!"

A roar of laughter erupted from the Noah, who had placed book down and was now clenching his stomach. If anyone could've heard it, it would've terrified them and caused Komui to come flying to "his sister's aid", but no one else could. Eventually the laughter came to a stop, the Neah's body shaking with occasional chuckle.

_**The girl loves the samurai, the samurai loves Allen, and Allen loves the samurai, but is best friend's with the girl. Interesting indeed!**_

The amused Noah rose, quietly pushing the chair back into place with his foot as he stretched his arms.

_**A girl in love always makes the best weapon, and is always the easiest to manipulate. Looks like I'll be staying with this one for a while... she should be easier to break in comparison to Allen**_

Lenalee sneezed in the bathtub, obvious to her own role in this new conspiracy.

* * *

Okay guys, this probably seemed like a really long and boring chapter, so sorry for that -_-;


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry this update took longer than usual, I've been really ill for the last few weeks guys, so haven't been up to writing/updating. I hope this is okay! Enjoy ^_^

**

* * *

Chapter 7**

'_...we both know that your heart is harbouring love for another'_

Kanda shot up in bed, terrifying the nurse who was supposed to be checking up on him; one evil glare sent her scurrying away in terror and his body finally began to relax. Sighing, he reached for his ribbon and scraped his hair back into its usual ponytail, his thoughts focused on his dream. Ever since he got back, he – who never dreams – has been having constant re-runs of the last conversation he had with _his love_ in his sleep. His movements stopped abruptly, falling down into his lap.

_Why... why doesn't my heart beat like it used to when I think of her? My love... those words... seem to have lost their meaning... maybe this is what they call closure? I don't know..._

He turned his head, and his eyes fell of the halo of silver hair sprouting from the blanket cocoon on the bed next to his. It moved slightly, and the surprisingly peaceful face of Allen Walker was uncovered. He kept his eyes on the sleeping figure, trying to muster up the feeling of anger he usually had for him and failing miserably.

_She said that love I him, but..._

Allen moved again, his body turning so he was now facing the perplexed samurai. Kanda tried to keep his eyes from landing on those slightly parted, pale pink lips, and failed yet again. It was way too easy for Kanda to let his mind wander. Too easy to imagine kissing those soft lips... too easy to imagine slipping his tongue in between... too easy to imagine the open, moaning his name as he—

"KANDA!"

He couldn't help but jump slightly, and turned to glower at an excited looking Komui.

"What do you want?" Komui took one small step backwards when he noticed Kanda reaching for Mugen.

"Is Allen-kun awake yet? It seems that you guys have a new mission"

"He's not awake,"

"Well Kanda, I leave waking him to you! When you are both dressed and have eaten, could you both head to my office? Thanks!" Komui before he could refuse, and Kanda turned back to Allen's sleeping form, mumbling curses upon the Supervisor as he did so. Yet, somehow, just looking at the boy made him feel suddenly at peace again.

_Maybe he is my...?_

He stopped the thought, shaking it from his mind as he stood and walked to Allen's bed. He reached down and began shaking him – rather gently, in Kanda's opinion at least – until he got a response.

"Ngh... five more minutes..."

"Wake up Moyashi,"

"Not... Moyashi..." His words slurred before he fell silent again. Kanda resumed the shaking before an annoyed groan came from the exorcist. "Okay... I'm up..."

"I don't see you moving Moyashi," Allen sat up on his bed, trying to rub away the tiredness from his cloudy grey eyes. Kanda meanwhile was focusing all of his willpower into not staring at Allen's pale skin, exposed by the sleeve that had slipped from his shoulder. Knowing that his eyes were straying he turned around and began walking towards the door,

"Where are you going?" Kanda turned back to the sleepy Allen, regretting doing so when his breath caught slightly and he began to feel a familiar heat in his "stomach".

"Shower" He mumbled before he left. He then made a point of stomping towards the shower room, glaring at anyone who dared make eye contact. When he finally arrived he stripped, snatched the first towel he could and slammed the cubicle door shut. He turned the blistering hot water on full blast, scratching at his skin with a sponge; hoping it would stop his straying thoughts.

_I don't like guys, and I don't like Allen!_

Screaming it in his head didn't help, it only frustrated him more that he wasn't referring to him by his usual nickname.

_It's not a nickname damn it! It's an insult! AN INSULT!_

His fist connected with the wall in front of him, and he winced slightly, pulling his hand away to stare at his reddening his – not noticing the indent he'd left behind. In moments it his hand was back to normal and his mind was back to its usual re-runs, playing back his earlier moments with Allen. The peaceful sleeping face, his soft kissable lips, his shirt which barely covered his rosy coloured n—

_NO!_

Icy needles rained down his heated skin, but he still wasn't quite sure when he changed the water temperature. Sighing heavily, he leaned his head against the tiled wall in front of him, his frown back in place.

_I DONT like Allen... I DON'T LIKE THAT STUPID MOYASHI! I REFUSE TO!_

An amused chuckle went unnoticed as a dark shadow slipped back through the walls of the shower room.

***O*O*O***

"GOOD MORNING ALLEN!" Allen flinched slightly at the loud cry that echoed through the canteen*, raising a hand to the vigorously waving Chef. He made his way over to his usual table in embarrassment, his head down so he could avoid the gazes of those around him. It was obvious that many still believed he was working with the Noah, and he didn't particularly want to be the centre of attention right now. He also didn't want too many people noticing his how much larger his clothes now seemed to be.

"Good morning Allen," Lenalee was beaming up at him, and he couldn't help but raise and eyebrow at her.

"Good morning, someone seems awfully happy" She giggled happily as he sat down opposite her,

"That's my secret to keep Allen!" he simply shook his head at her. He turned to his see Jerry pushing a miniature mountain of food towards him, and he couldn't help but gulp slightly at the sight.

The breakfast went rather normal after that, with friends joining the table and all of them laughing and joking as if Allen had never left. Still, a rather loud voice in the back of his mind kept telling him to be weary of the Noah who had disappeared recently. Allen knew that he wasn't strong enough to fight him off, so the only other thing the 14th could be doing was plotting, or messing with the minds of others around the Order. That thought was quite a disturbing one for the exorcist, and he was thankful he was suddenly torn away from it. Not so thankful that it was Kanda's killer aura that had done so,

"W-w-w-we didn't m-mean any h-h-harm Kanda, w-we're s-s-sorry for w-whatever we may have d-d-done to u-upset you..." Allen looked up at a petrified Miranda and a few other trembling in terror, it was then that he realised that the samurai was now towering over him, not looking the least bit amused. Allen narrowed his eyes at him,

"Why must you always do this? We were having a good time just talking and now you're moodiness has ruined –" but a single, chilling glare from Kanda cut him off next mid sentence. Never before had he seen the samurai look so angry, and he couldn't help but gulp slight as Kanda hissed out a response.

"Training room. Now." Kanda spun on his heel and begun storming away, leaving a perplexed looking Allen behind.

* * *

Sorry guys, it probably seemed like a really boring filler chapter, but it'll get better next chapter I swear!

*canteen = cafeteria btw


	8. Chapter 8

It may be another boring filler chapter guys, but anyways... Enjoy ^_^

* * *

**Chapter 8**

_**Finally, some decent entertainment**_

The smirking Noah sat down on a ledge in the training room, golden eyes flickering around the room in front of him. Allen stood silently, facing a seething Kanda with Mugen drawn and glinting in the light – only Neah was aware that Lenalee had snuck in to watch them.

"Kanda... what's wrong? You've been acting rather out of it recently," Allen gaze was cast down as he fiddled with his hands, he felt a sudden chill run down his spine at Kanda's furious growled response.

"And whose fault do you think that is?" Allen's head snapped up and Lenalee eyes widened in shock, but before either could comment Kanda continued. "Activate your innocence. Now" Allen bit his lip, glancing off to the side.

"...can't..."

"What?"

"I... can't activate my innocence..." Allen's voice came out as a barely audible whisper; he clenched his hands into fists, praying that Kanda wouldn't push the matter. He should've known better.

"What do you mean you can't activate your innocence? Since when?" The silver-haired exorcist remained silent, wishing away the dark mocking words of the Noah which began to surface in his mind. Ever since that night, when the fourteenth had tried to attack Link, Allen had refused to activate his innocence. As the cell doors slammed shut that night something happened, something which only the two knew of, something which Allen didn't want publicised when everyone already thought of him as Noah.

_Never again... I don't want to see that ever again..._

"...I don't have to answer to you." He turned to head towards the door, but before he could even take a step forward he felt cold steel press against his neck.

_Since when could Kanda move that fast?_

"I'm not asking you to spar with me Moyashi; I'm asking you to _fight _me. I won't accept you walking away like a coward." Kanda had moved, and was now standing between Allen and the door. This wasn't what he'd planned. He'd planned to bring Allen here and try to beat the shit out of him – like he usually would. But yet again, Kanda found himself at the mercy of the Allen's mood swings; the easy manipulation slowly crippling his pride as Allen remained 'oblivious' to his actions.

And it pissed him off to no end.

"Kanda, move" The samurai took one step closer, glaring coldly at Allen's face.

"No"

"Move" Kanda took another step forward, the distance between the two shrinking even more. Allen didn't know whether to blush at their close proximity, or shove Kanda away and run out of the training room as fast as he could. Meanwhile said samurai was having a completely different reaction. Now, their chests only a few inches apart, Kanda could barely contain his blinding rage. He could feel the heat rolling from Allen's body, could see the slight pink tinge on his cheeks, could count every single curled silver lash on his eyelids, and it made his heart pound in ways he didn't want it to.

He hated it.

"I TOLD YOU TO M—" Allen ducked as Mugen sharpened edge sliced through the air, and he backed up quickly away from the lethal samurai.

"Make me," Kanda flew towards him, but Allen managed to swivel out of the way, the steel gliding past him as he continued to back further away.

"I'm not going to fight you!" But Kanda was relentless, the sword always floating past but coming closer every time. It didn't take long to back the silver-haired exorcist into a corner, with the raging Kanda towering over him. He fell to the floor, scuttling backwards until he couldn't move any further.

"This is all your fault! This is all because of you!" Kanda raised his sword and Allen squeezed his eyes shut, expecting the final blow...

He heard the slicing, but didn't feel the pain.

Slowly, silver lashes parted to reveal grey eyes confused at the sight before him. Kanda was on his knees, Mugen stabbed into the ground by his side. Lenalee had quietly shuffled around whilst following Kanda's movements, and heaved a silent sigh of relief when she noticed Allen was okay. Meanwhile, the grin on the Noah's face grew impossibly wider.

_**Wait for it...**_

The 14th and Kanda were the only ones aware of the samurai's inner struggle, and the Noah couldn't help but throw a few things into the mix of Kanda's mind as well.

_**Wait for it...**_

Kanda glanced up at the boy in front of him, and Allen stared back in even more confusion. His eyes slid down to the slightly parted lips in front of him... and he lost it.

_**There you go...**_

Lenalee watched in horror as Mugen was thrown aside and Kanda's lips crashed into Allen's. The younger boy was in just as much shock, and gasped, which gave Kanda the chance to slip in his tongue into the moist heat presented to him. The surprise quickly disappeared however, and Allen melted into the kiss, giving just as much as he was taking. A small voice in the back of his head told him his actions were shameful, that he shouldn't do this when Kanda was obviously in a state, but he shoved it to the side as Kanda body pressed against his.

_This may be the only chance I get to ever hold him like this,_

A strong hand gripped onto Allen's silver tresses as Kanda continued to ravage his mouth, the other slipping in between them to massage the quickly growing bulge between them. Allen hummed in pleasure and he wrapped his arms around the samurai's neck, pulling their bodies impossibly closer and rolling his hips into the groping hand. His head was yanked back, and he moaned aloud when as Kanda sucked hungrily on his neck, the thought of the red marks Kanda was leaving all over him making his erection press tighter against his trousers*.

Lenalee wanted to throw up.

_Kanda... why... how... even if he needed some sort of rebound girl... why..._

The 14th chuckled quietly to himself, as he leaned back to look at his masterpiece.

_**And now, for the finishing touches...**_

"Kanda..."

Allen didn't know what made him moan Kanda's name out like that, but whatever the reason, it had the complete opposite effect. As if a switch had been turned in his head, cobalt blue eyes snapped open and he looked down at Allen. He saw the slightly hazy eyes and the flush to Allen's cheeks... he also _felt_ what was in his hand...

_What the hell did I just do? !_

* * *

*trousers=pants, hope that chapter was worth the wait guys! Review please!


	9. Chapter 9

Enjoy! ^_^

By the way, this chapter will have some flashbacks in italics, so I'm going to put actual thoughts into quote marks; I hope it doesn't confuse anyone.

Finally, Neah doesn't have the power to actual control minds, but he can go into people minds and drop little thoughts and suggestions in there (like a little devil on your shoulder)

* * *

**Chapter 9**

The silence was deafening in Komui's office, his quiet cough breaking the silence.

"Is everyone clear? You're mission is to go and gather more information about Marian Cross' disappearance. There have been numerous rumours and apparent sighting spreading worldwide, all of which are sky-rocketing in number with each passing day. We'd assumed it impossible before, as the amount of blood left behind in the temporary base – and the abandoned innocence – indicated his death. But now there are several possible reasons as to why these rumours started, but Central have decided that the chance of him being alive (even after all this time) is big enough to be investigated further. You'll be leaving in a two week's time, so use that time to prepare well. Allen, Kanda, I'm sorry that you're being sent on a mission so soon. But Allen, you're the closest thing we have to Cross right now, and Kanda, you're abilities are more suited to fight against the Noah Clan. Next to my darling Lenalee's of course."

"It's fine..." Allen mumbled an almost inaudible reply, gritting his teeth as a familiar laugh began to ring in his mind.

_**BAHAHAHAHAHA! Well well well, who knew that all I would've had to do to finally break you was to take on Kanda's face and hit on you? Who knew that rejection was all that the mighty Allen Walker needed to break him? And now you're going on a mission, but can't even use your innocence! HOW PATHETIC!**_

Allen clenched his hands behind his back, wanting to run from the mocking laughter and hide, but knowing doing so would be impossible. His chest throbbed, every chuckle forcing another crack into his heart. It was only a matter of time before the whole thing shattered, and replaying the awful memory in his mind wasn't helping either; but he just couldn't help it...

***O*O*O***

"_I'm sorry,"_

_Kanda's voice echoed through the training room, the quite words holding so much meaning for the few people hearing it._

_Only the smirking Noah, watching from his perch above, truly knew what was going on._

_Kanda moved away form Allen, turning to pick up his sword._

"_Don't worry... I understand" Allen had pushed himself from the floor, and had straightened his clothes. He began to silently head for the door._

_He felt disgusted with himself_

'_I threw myself at him like a fucking slut, and now he's apologizing to me?' Allen bit his lip hard as his eyes pricked with tears, but he dare not slow his face or look at the samurai behind him._

"_I'm sorry I'm... not her"_

_He didn't mean for the words to slip out, but they did none the less, his pain and bitterness more than obvious in the shaky words. He could feel eyes piercing his back as he uttered them, but before he could hear the response he used trembling hands to force open the training room door._

_He ran as fast as his weakened legs would let him, bursting into his old room and locking the door behind him. He turned to find everything still in place, as he stumbled towards his bed before collapsing onto the soft mattress, clutching onto his pillow and crying at the bittersweet scene he'd left behind him._

'_Why does everything around me always go wrong?'_

***O*O*O***

"You're dismissed,"

Allen was the first one out of the door, leaving the two other team members behind. These team members, much to his chagrin, were none other than Kanda Yuu and Lenalee Lee, the two people he least wanted contact with right now. Kanda for obvious reasons, but also Lenalee because she'd be the first one to force herself into his room to find out what was wrong; and that wasn't something he wanted right now.

_'And as if all this shit wasn't even enough, I still have to get through the rest of the day with these people.'_

_'And somehow manage to overcome my... fear... of innocence.'_

_'In two weeks'_

_'Fourteen days'_

'_Fan-fucking-tastic'_

Little did he know that he wasn't the only one with his emotions on the verge of overflowing, nor was he the only one replaying the events of the early morning.

***O*O*O***

"_I'm sorry,"_

_Kanda's voice echoed through the training room, the quite words holding so much meaning for all those in hearing distance._

_Only the smirking Noah, watching from his perch above, truly knew what was going on._

'_I'm sorry Allen, I never meant to force you into something like this,' Kanda hoped his silent apology got through as he moved away form Allen, turning to pick up his sword._

_If only it had._

"_Don't worry... I understand" Allen had pushed himself from the floor, and had straightened his clothes. He began to silently head for the door._

"_I'm sorry I'm... not her" Kanda eyes widened and he spun around, just in time to see Allen shove open the door and disappear around the corner._

"_Shit, that isn't what I meant!"_

_But it was too late, even though he ran to the door in hopes of catching him; the silver-haired exorcist had disappeared from sight._

_Now Allen would probably hate him._

_He'd fucked up._

_Again_

***O*O*O***

"You two, hold on a second,"

Kanda and Lenalee stopped, turning back to the suddenly serious Supervisor,

"Yes, nii-chan?"

"I would like for you guys to personally keep an eye on Allen while on this mission. He's been locked up and living in such poor conditions for so long, I don't know if he'll be able to handle such a long and tiring mission. Please do your best, when Lavi and Krory return from their mission, I'll be sending them to join you guys."

Kanda gave a silent nod, before leaving the room, his mind replaying the morning's events for what seemed to be the billionth time.

_'I need to... talk to Allen... somehow... but... he hates me now doesn't he... right?'_

His own stupidity was pissing him off to no end.

He didn't even want to like Allen a few hours ago, and now he was trying to make sure he didn't hate him. Even if Allen would talk to him – something almost impossible, as now he wont so much as breathe in his direction – what would he say? Would he say that he wasn't thinking of his old lover as they kissed? Would he say that he that he didn't see it as mistake, and that Allen shouldn't beat himself up over it? What the hell did he even see it as? This is what he wanted, to be away from Allen and clear his head, to prove that it was his lover, who'd passed on, that he still loved – regardless of Allen's presence.

Allen hating him was the best thing that could happen to him right now...

_'Right?'_

Kanda was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even register the intense gaze focused onto his back; one that followed him as he walked away from Komui's office and disappeared around the corner.

* * *

I expected this chapter to be better that it turned out to be, so sorry if it's a let down-_-


	10. Chapter 10

Neah is slowly gaining control... Enjoy ^_^

* * *

**Chapter 10**

_**You... you fucking disgust me...**_

_**You lying bastard...**_

_**You sit there and act innocent all of the time...**_

_**You crave the attention of all of those around...**_

_**You live off of the praise and adoration they constantly feed you...**_

_**And yet, you're the reason that all of those you "care" about are disappearing one by one...**_

_**They're dying because they're trying to protect you...**_

_**They're leaving because you push them away...**_

_**Or you in your greed take away what they've craved for so long; longer than they've known you or would ever want to know you.**_

_**Allen, I don't want to be one of those people, but slowly... slowly...**_

_**You're turning me into one**_

Lenalee slammed her diary shut and dashed it away from herself, horrified at the words that she'd written in her fury yesterday. The hatred oozing from the rough Chinese script wasn't something she ever thought could come from within herself, yet as she read every character she could still feel the remnants of those feelings lingering somewhere in her heart. She shuddered, hating that it really seemed she was turning into a monster. Ever since Kanda had arrived, it's as if she's grown a split personality. All the time, she can hear a voice in her head, whispering her darkest secrets and worst fears, egging her on from the shadows. At first she thought it was nothing and pushed it aside, but everything changed when only yesterday, she watched what occurred between Kanda and Allen.

***O*O*O***

_Lenalee watched in horror as Mugen was thrown aside and Kanda's lips crashed into Allen's. The younger boy was in just as much shock, and gasped, which gave Kanda the chance to slip in his tongue into the moist heat presented to him. Allen hummed in pleasure and he wrapped his arms around the samurai's neck, pulling their bodies impossibly closer and rolling his hips into Kanda's groping hand. His head was yanked back, and he moaned aloud when as Kanda sucked hungrily on his neck, the thought of the red marks Kanda was leaving all over him making his erection press tighter against his trousers._

_Lenalee forced down the sick pushing its way up her throat._

_But she couldn't hold back the tears in her eyes._

_Silently, she watched love of her life and supposed best friend practically eat at each other, too oblivious to even notice her not so quiet sobs and whimpers she tried to muffle with her hands. Allen was supposed to be her best friend, he was supposed to be the one supporting _her_ whilst she went for Kanda. He was supposed to be the first one to give her a congratulatory hug when they were finally together. So why..._

_Why is he the one doing this to her?_

"_I'm sorry," Kanda moved away form Allen, turning to pick up his sword._

_Lenalee was so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't realised what'd caused Kanda to pull away, but she felt that slight glimmer of hope when he did._

"_Don't worry... I understand" Allen had pushed himself from the floor, and had straightened his clothes. He began to silently head for the door. Lenalee could barely contain her fury as she saw Allen, seemingly completely unmoved by what'd had just caused her world to come crashing down._

_**Cock hungry slut!**_

_Lenalee's eyes widened at the thought. How could she even think that? Allen was her friend and she didn't have a problem with his sexuality. Heck... she didn't even _know_ his sexuality until then. She shouldn't think that about but..._

_**But why shouldn't I?**_

_That's... that's right! Why shouldn't she think that about him? He was the one who did something like this, he KNEW Lenalee loved Kanda. He MUST'VE noticed, and did he even BOTHER to TRY and push Kanda away? NO! Because he's as much of a cock hungry slut as the next bitch!_

"_I'm sorry I'm... not her"_

_**Cock hungry and manipulative! This isn't about YOU Allen! The whole fucking world doesn't revolve around you damn it!**_

"_Shit, that isn't what I meant!"_

_Lenalee's sorrow turned into full blown rage as she watched Kanda run to the door after him; her body shaking from her anger. Her tears had dried, and she knew her eyes would be blazing. Why the fuck was this Kanda's fault? What had he done? He was still hurting after losing his first love, he was confused and he needed help! How DARE Allen take advantage of him in this state!_

"_HOW DARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO HIM! I LOVE HIM MORE AND HE'LL NEVER LOOK AT ME! I HATE YOU ALLEN! __**I HATE YOU!"**_

***O*O*O***

Lenalee shuddered again as she recalled the horrible memory, her mind replaying the words of her "darker self"

_**But why shouldn't I?**_

The voice was right, why shouldn't she get angry? Why does she always have to be the Lenalee who takes anything and everything from those people around her? Why does she have to be the one who is always smiling as if she doesn't have her own problems?

_**A lot of things can be hidden under a damn smile**_

With a new iron resolve, she ran across her room and grabbed her diary, flipping it open as she sat at her desk. Grabbing a pen, she began her scraping her angry words into the paper.

_Dear Diary,_

_That's it. I'm sick and fucking tired of being the fucking innocent little girl of the Order. And yes, I just fucking swore. Fuck. Shit. Dick. Cunt. Piss. Asshole. Retard. Fucktard! I can swear just as much as anyone else! I have an opinion, and I'm a bloody eighteen year old girl not a five year old! I have feelings and I get upset too! Why is everyone so oblivious when it comes to me! Why don't they ever seem me! And why is it that the only one that does is the person who's making me hurt the most! Why..._

Lenalee continued to scribble more words into her diary, and proud golden eyes watched as she did, smirking every time she flipped a page to continue her rant; dropping in a "helpful" thought every now and again. Lenalee was slowly losing herself because of the hurt and anger she was feeling, and with the way things were going, it wouldn't take long for her to break absolutely.

_**And then she'll become mine, and I'll be able to screw with Allen in the best possible way.**_

The 14th chuckled as his eyes fell back to the page, taking in the last of her little rant.

_...This is the end of it. No more nice Lenalee. Two can pretend to be innocent! You want to be manipulative? I'll SHOW you who's fucking manipulative, and I'll beat you at you're mind games!_

_You're in deep shit Allen Walker!_

Grinning manically, Neah disappeared through the walls, heading towards the room of his favourite exorcist.

_**How boring... her mind will belong to me by the end of these two weeks**_

* * *

Better?


	11. Chapter 11

English Lit exams on Tuesday, not good :-/ Me not updating in a month? Even worse; sorry guys. But I hope you enjoy anyways ^_^

* * *

**Chapter 11**

_**Aw, don't look at me like that when I only just got here, you'll hurt my feelings!**_

Stormy grey eyes glared into piercing gold ones that glittered with their usual accompanying mockery. Allen didn't want, need, or care for the company of the Noah, but he knew it would be forced upon him whether he liked it or not. Even alone in his silent room, where he could escape the sceptical murmurs about his character, the hateful glares and down right insulting behaviour, he couldn't escape from the Noah.

"Leave"

Sighing at the blunt order, the Noah perched himself on the end of his bed, smiling wider as Allen's eyes darkened with his hatred. If only Allen knew that it was those dark emotions that the 14th fed from...

_**The man you "love" gives mixed signals then rejects you, the people you've given your life to protect treat you like shit, and your supposed "friends" feel like their walking on eggshells whenever they're around you. Don't you think that everyone would feel better if you weren't here?**_

Allen's glare never wavered.

_**Give yourself to me Allen, all those people who ever betrayed you, who ever doubted you would simply disappear from your life—**_

Neah stopped when he heard the quiet grinding of Allen's teeth.

_You... you sick, twisted bastard. You Noah are the whole reason my life has been destroyed. If it wasn't for you, there never would've been a need for the innocence. Mana never would've been killed, I never would've been hunted by both Noah and akuma alike, and the few friends I managed to make wouldn't have abandoned me, been put in danger, or killed. You people are why I could never have a normal life, the reason I could never simply live peacefully. And you DARE act as if I'm the one who should yield to you, as if my whole damn life has been completely under your control already?_

_**If it wasn't for the Noah you hate so much Mana wouldn't even exist**_

_Yet sometimes I wonder if it was a good thing that he found me that night_

Allen's body began to tremble from the words he couldn't say aloud, half wanting to berate himself for the silent confession; the other half calculating just how much speed he'd need to wrap his fingers around the Noah's neck before it could react. He just wanted the Noah to leave, was that so damn hard to ask?

_**Until you hand over your body to me, it's impossible Allen**_

And with that, the Noah disappeared, no doubt going back to torture his newest victim – but surprisingly, Allen didn't care. He didn't care for the innocence, he didn't care for the Millennium Earl, and at that exact moment of time he didn't care for the people waiting on the other side of his door for him.

_I can't deny caring for Kanda... but I know that he isn't one of the people waiting on the other side of the door._

Exhausted, Allen collapsed onto his bed, curling into a ball and clinging onto his pillow. Yet again, as much as he hated to admit it, he found himself seeing the truth hidden among the lies of the 14th. Truthfully, it wasn't as if the people wanted him in the Order, and the few who did could easily forget him if he were to disappear. There were stronger Exorcists out there, and if he were to die his innocence could just be taken and given to another compatible (since it's not as if he could use it anyway). He couldn't find any valid reason, for staying in the order, for being _alive_ anymore.

_They should've just left me in that cell..._

His thoughts of hopelessness began to slow, before finally stopping on the one thing he knew he needed to do.

***O*O*O***

Meanwhile, on the other side of the Order, there were two minds more riled up then ever. The first to belonging to the frightfully furious mind of Kanda Yuu, who continued on his massacre of straw dummies and other fake targets whose bodies now littered the training room floor. Everyone in the order knew better than to approach the pissed of samurai and stayed well clear of the place – everyone accept one small, pixie haired girl. Lenalee, watched on, her mind conjuring numberless evil thoughts and plots against the exorcist 'resting' obliviously on the opposite side of the order. Well, that and playing out steamy, smutty scenes in her head with the topless, sweating man in front of her. She was thankful Kanda was so absentminded – whether purposely or not – because she knew that if he were to look over he'd immediately be turned off by the lust in her eyes and the drool dripping from her chin. Flushing in embarrassment she wiped it away, hoping and praying her beloved's thoughts weren't focused on the person she was cursing.

But of course they were.

_Damn it damn it damn it all to hell! I promised myself that this was all right; I had convinced myself that it was better if he thought I hated him. So why? Why does my mind keep wondering back to him? To his ruffled sleepy appearance in the ward? To the numerous, hideous scars on his wrists? Why is it that after trying to force myself to forget, my mind keeps replaying our shared moment in the training room? The sweet, delicious taste that was Allen? The way my heart pounded when our bodies were pressed together?_

Kanda continued to tear at the dummies flying towards him, straw fluttering past him in a blurry of yellow and brown. He needed to... to what? Make himself forget? Act as nothing ever happened? No, he needed to somehow get Allen out of his system, and there was only two ways to do that.

1. Find out personally what kind of hold Allen had over him.

2. Pin Allen down and screw him out of his system.

And as appealing as option 2 was, he knew that number 1 would be a lot more beneficial and a lot less stupid. That and the dummies stopped coming down, meaning he had no excuse for staying here any longing. Sighing heavily, he sheathed his katana; stretching out his muscles as he slowly made his way towards the door. He needed a shower, and maybe then he'd be able to figure out just how he'd go about pulling off option 1. Sighing again, he leaned and picked up his shirt, slipping it over his shoulders and pushing open the door.

***O*O*O***

_**He's going to Allen**_

Lenalee jumped, her eyes scanning the empty training room for the voice. There was no one else there, so she could only assume that it was her inner voice talking

_**He's going to Allen, the whole time he's been thinking about him. He's going to his room, they're going to reconcile. You're going to be left alone. Again.**_

_No, that wasn't what he was thinking about!_

_**How can you be so sure? You saw the look on his face? You can see in front of you now the mess he's made! He was trying to distract himself from something – someone.**_

_But... but..._

_**And who do you think that is? Who's the person who's been playing with him and confusing him? Who's the one who's left such an impression on him recently?**_

_What do I do?_

_**You know what you need to do, don't you?**_

_But... I can't... Allen, he... he's my friend!_

_**He was your friend, now he's stealing the person you love and walking all over you. He's become the centre of attention in the Order, everyone's leaving you behind. Do you want to be left behind?**_

_N-no..._

_**Then you know what you must do, and we have only two weeks to plan it to perfection.**_

_I understand..._

_**Are you prepared for that step?**_

***O*O*O***

Barely an hour later a scream was heard piercing the quietness of the Order was dorms as a pool of thick, sticky red blood spread across a bedroom floor.

* * *

Sorry if that chapter dragged on guys...


	12. Chapter 12

Hey guys! I wrote this whole chapter on my Blackberry going to and from my exam today, I hope you enjoy ^_^

* * *

**Chapter 12**

"Move out of the way! Move it!"

Kanda was snapped out of his thoughts as he saw the nurses sprinting down the corridor, barrelling past everyone in their way to bring through a stretcher trolley. Kanda was shocked to say the least; he'd heard a scream earlier but simply assumed it was his imagination. But the stretcher with the half bloody blanket told him other wise. He happily moved out of the way for them, wandering who it was that was injured so badly as he watched it go by.

The tuft of silver hair maid his heart sink.

_Allen!_

Without realising, Kanda's legs began to move of their own accord, following the stretcher back to the ward as he tried desperately to talk to the nurses. Their pace never faltered.

"What happened to Allen?"

"We're not quite sure; Miranda was the one who found him. She'd gone to visit and check if he was okay and found... this"

_This? What's this? What's wrong with him? What did this to him? WHO did this to him?_

But before Kanda could voice any of his questions they'd arrived at the hospital ward, leaving him behind as the love of his life was rushed into A&E.

_...The love of my what?_

Shaking his head and sighing, Kanda stepped into the hospital ward, wandering to the A&E room and taking a seat outside, waiting for more news on Allen's condition

Meanwhile, on the other side of the order, someone was rejoicing.

_He's tried to kill himself? Oh my God, is this how far he's willing to go to try and steal Kanda from me? Doesn't he realise I'd give my life for Kanda in a heartbeat? Fool! I hope he really does die!_

Lenalee continued with her mental rant as she dug through her wardrobe, chucking out things she'd deemed suitable only for the "old Lenalee" whilst replacing them with more clothes. Less clothes, actually, as a large majority of the things were so thin, short, see through, or dainty that you couldn't even count them as clothing. Neah stood back and watched, wincing when she placed a particularly revolting outfit into her drawers. Though, this _was _all Lenalee's doing. Just like a devil on your shoulder, Neah whispered all the right words into the mind of those he manipulated. Everything Lenalee was doing now was of her own free will, the decisions she makes are her own... Just with a little bit of his guidance.

_Because complete control is too easy, and it's even sweeter once they know that they're the real monsters, not me._

Smirking, he slipped through the wall in her room and began heading for the hospital ward. He knew what Allen was going to do before he did it; after all, he was the one put who put the thought in his head. Now, with Allen seen as suicidal, any harm which befalls him when he's alone will be assumed as intentional. They'll never believe him if he mentions the Noah, and Allen is so far gone that it's slowly getting harder to discern which thoughts are his own.

_**But still he fights! Every time I believe I've won he surprises me! Why does he fight so hard? He's lost almost all reason to live...**_

_**Almost...**_

_**That's it; I simply need to target what it is he still holds onto. Lenalee is almost completely under my control, so getting her to turn his friends against him will soon be easy enough. But Kanda... That boy who keeps interfering will soon learn what it is to covet the property of a Noah.**_

* * *

A gentle click of a door had Kanda shooting up from his seat, rushing towards an exhausted looking doctor.

"Doctor, is Allen okay?" The doctor looked momentarily stunned, before his lips started moving.

"Yes... Though how I'm not sure. Allen had managed to not only inflict numerous deep cuts along his limbs and face, but had also managed to somehow stab himself in his own stomach - all before collapsing. Thankfully Miranda had found him soon after, and we came rushing to prevent the stomach acids eroding at his inner organs. However it was a true struggle at first, have you been waiting all this time?"

Kanda nodded, looking down in embarrassment when he was given a small, knowing smile from the doctor. Nothing less could be expected after waiting outside the surgery for the last three hours.

"But doctor, what do you mean at first?"

"For the first two hours we genuinely were preparing ourselves for the worst but then... Something happened."

He leaned closer to Kanda, who frowned slightly in confusion at the gesture.

"I don't know if I'm supposed to tell you this, but I believe at least you have the right to know. After the first two hours, the machines began to play up before going out of control. This may be unbelievable but... Something like black lighting surrounded Allen. It raced over his skin and open wounds, catapulting our interfering equipment away. Within fifteen minutes it disappeared though, and Allen was completely healed. I've just spent the last forty five minutes erasing the memories of all the others in the surgery, implanting new memories and giving Allen a final once over. I need to report all of this to Komui now, can you please accompany me?"

Kanda's eyes kept flicking between the surgery doors and the doctor's now grinning face,

"He's alright Kanda, he was sleeping like the dead after that... Incident. And I pumped some morphine into him just in case, even with Allen's high metabolism it's gonna take a while to work it all of."

Kanda's gaze flickered to the doors again, before he heaved a sigh and nodded in agreement, allowing himself to be tugged out of the hospital ward. The first few minutes were held in a comfortable silence, before Kanda quietly mumbled,

"Thank you for saving him" the doctor shook his head quickly.

"No! Don't thank me, I didn't really do anything, I'm just happy he's okay."

Kanda nodded his head slightly, before things fell silent again.

"So... How far have you and Allen gone in your relationship?"

Kanda abruptly came to a halt.

"WHAT?"

"You're lovers aren't you? I'd assumed that was why you were pacing outside the surgery for three hours with such a worried expression-"

"I'M NOT! WE'RE NOT! I NEEDED TO TELL HIM SOMETHING!"

"Of course Kanda, something of such importance you had to wait three hours for him?"

"OF COURSE!"

The doctor was now smirking at the flustered samurai ready that was ready to slice him in half.

"Well, I'm sorry for my assumption" The doctor's smirk never left his face as he turned and kept on walking, forcing Kanda to storm after him.

"You should be, doctors aren't always right" He grumbled,

"Of course we're not, but I think your denial over your feelings towards Allen is pretty obvious - I didn't my psychology degree to notice that, common sense is enough. I'm Rei by the way, if you ever need to talk just visit the ward" But before Kanda could decapitate the doctor like he wanted Rei slipped into Komui's office. Huffing in annoyance he turned around, stomping back towards where Allen lay.

* * *

One hour later, Allen awoke. He stretched one arm above his head, staring at the smooth, flawless skin.

_**Didn't I tell you Allen? You'll never escape from me. Never.**_

Closing his eyes, he let his arm drop and curled onto his side, not caring who saw the tears that streamed down his face.

* * *

I know this chapter is pretty vague, but next chapter will be everything in more detail from Allen's side. R&R!


	13. Chapter 13

Enjoy ^_^

* * *

**Chapter 13**

_**So here we are again**_

Allen's eyelids fluttered open and his eyes glanced around the room. It was empty; the only sound the quiet beeping of the heart rate machine to his right. It'd been one week since he tried to kill himself, and he still regretted not planning for a more successful finish. It was a spur of the moment thing, and he'd even gone as far as stabbing himself in the stomach, hoping it would ensure his fate...

_**But you forgot about me didn't you?**_

The beeps on the machine increased, and Allen heard a dark chuckle echo from somewhere in the darkest depths of his mind.

_**You foolish ungrateful brat! Do you think I'm always going to be there to save your sorry ass? Why don't you just come to terms with your place in life? You were unwanted from birth, abandoned, insignificant, and if it wasn't for me you probably would've already died and no one would've noticed or cared. Your life is **_**meaningless**_** so why don't you give up already? Maybe then you'll be put to good use.**_

Allen tried not to tremble at the silent fury blatant in the Noah's hissing voice, forcing himself to stay silent and closing his eyes for some sense calm.

_**Yet again, I've had to use my powers for you, and believe me, you will pay for exhausting me you little wench*... A lot sooner than you think in fact.**_

The soft click of the door had Allen shooting up in his bed, scared eyes flickering around his room before falling on the person blocking the doorway. For a split second, deep cobalt blue clashed with pale grey, before Allen dropped his gaze and turned away; trying to hide his ragged appearance from the one he loved. Pulling up his knees Allen kept his eyes rooted to the window on the opposite side of his private room, his blanket gripped firmly to his chin as he tried to slow his pounding heart.

_Please God, please let him just leave; I don't want him to see me like this..._

In the second it took their eyes to meet Kanda found himself losing his resolve. It'd been seven long days since Allen's attempted suicide, and it had taken him just as long to build up enough confidence to approach him again. Kanda still wasn't quite sure what he was going to say, and was rather proud that after ceaseless hours of pacing he'd even managed to open the door. But now he found himself changing his mind, not that there was even any anger in Allen's gaze, just... hurt. Raw pain and fear coming to a somewhat beautiful blend in those crystallized depths, and Kanda couldn't help but feel unable to break through the wall he knew Allen was building.

_But... but I have to try... I can't... No, I WON'T give up on Allen. Not ever._

"Hey you, how are you feeling?" Allen tried hard to ignore the deep voice and the involuntary shudder it always brought him. He refused to turn around, continuing his inner prayers for complete peace of mind, if even only for a few minutes.

_Please leave! Don't come closer! Don't look at me when I'm like this! Why can't I at least have some peace of mind?_

The weight of another caused the mattress to sink, and Allen could more or less feel the body heat of his beloved burning into his back, his cheeks flaming at the thought of it. Yes, he wanted Kanda to go, but as much as he wanted him to leave, he couldn't help but be happy that the love of his life had come to give him company. Right now, as much as he hated to admit it, he needed some form of company. His emotions were a rather complicated mix over the bittersweet moment, and a sad smile played on his lips as he continued to look at the clear blue sky on the other side of the glass

"First things first, I'm going to be doing all of the talking, so please just hear me out okay?"

Allen fought the urge to snort, but let out a small sigh of acceptance. Kanda meanwhile was slowly gaining confidence, realising that although Allen had yet to talk to him, he wasn't really rejecting him or their physical closeness. It may not be big, but it was an accomplishment nonetheless.

"About the training room..." Kanda saw Allen tense, but forced himself to go on. "I was sorry, and I'm still sorry for what happened. I'm a guy, you're a guy... I'm not quite sure how well that sits with you—"

Allen felt his chest his chest begin to ache, and was about to speak up and force Kanda away but stopped when he heard five confident words.

"But I didn't hate it"

Allen's heart stop, the beeping machine faltering slightly before slowly picking up its rhythm again.

"You... Didn't?" Allen voice was a barely audible croak after not being used for so long, and Kanda couldn't help the pang in his heart at the sound.

"No, I didn't, actually I... I... I really... liked it" Both teens were now sporting identical blushes, with both too afraid to face the other over this new revelation.

"Did... Did it feel good?" Allen's cheeks were blazing but he had to continue, he needed to hear Kanda's answer, to ensure he wasn't dreaming, to prove that this was really happening to him.

"Yeah... It did..."

Kanda felt his face smouldering as he whispered the words he'd been inwardly struggling with ever since he fell through the Arch's door.

"So... What does this mean?"

This was where Kanda's plan stopped, he knew the question would come up, but he was hoping it would take a longer to get there.

That, and Kanda wasn't quite sure what the answer was himself.

"It means..."

Allen clamped his teeth onto his lip, hoping to God that he was going to get some good news that would finally make his life a little bit brighter again. What he wasn't expecting was to be spun round, and for Kanda's lovely kissable lips to be pressed to his in a passionate kiss. Allen couldn't hold back his moan as Kanda pulled him closer, the gentle embrace a huge contrast to their almost violent class of tongues and teeth. Allen's hands slid around Kanda's neck and into his dark locks, holding on for dear life as his heart pounded against his chest, causing an embarrassingly erratic beat to beep from the forgotten machine to his right.

_This can't be... Is this really happening?_

The nibbling teeth on his bottom lip and the softly caressing hands on his sides told it was, and that it really was happening. And as those pearly white teeth and that wicked skilful tongue moved down to his neck, Allen couldn't help but whimper in happiness over what was happening to him.

When Kanda pulled away he saw Allen panting, wearing the same flushed face and glazed, wanton eyes as back in the training room; it sent jolt of heat heading straight to his groin.

"It means we're having more if _this_and less time in the hospital ward. Okay?"

Allen nodded dazedly at his... boyfriend?

"Boyfriend"

Allen's eyes widened as Kanda slowly and reluctantly moved away, pushing him flat against the mattress whilst yanking his blanket over his body.

"How did you...?"

"It's written all over face Allen, and yes, you can call me that if you want. Now... you need to get to sleep and heal up already, so we can continue from where we left off"

"...You expect me to sleep NOW?"

"Of course" Kanda had a smug smirk on his lips as he leaned down, pressing a chaste kiss against his forehead. "I'll go and talk to Komui; I don't think you'll be able to come on the mission with us after all..."

Allen had forgotten all about the mission and the bigger smirk on Kanda's told him that his _boyfriend_had noticed. With a quick peck on the lips, and a shared goodbye Kanda disappeared through the door, leaving a surprisingly content Allen in the hospital bed.

The last thing Allen thought of was the doctor's future response to his heart rate chart, before slipping into the silent sleep he'd so craved for.

* * *

I haven't updated because I've been doing my GSCE's (and I only have 2 more now! THANK GOD) so updates can go back to being more regular now :-D


	14. Chapter 14

I'm so sorry! I was planning to update when my exams and prom were done, but like 2 days after I was put on a coach to Manchester to stay with my cousins for like a month and a bit (who have NO INTERNET! I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY SURVIVE!) I only got back like a week and a half ago, and I've been busy getting ready to re-arrange my whole room. Sorry for leaving you guys hanging for so long! Forgive me! :'-( Anyways, enjoy! ^_^

* * *

_Knock knock knock!_

"Come in!"

Kanda pushed open the heavy oak doors of Komui's office, moving quickly inside towards his office. He didn't pay the slightest attention to the colossal amount of papers hiding the Scientist's body, or the thick layers of sheets carpeting the floor, this scene was something he was more than familiar with already.

"Komui, I would like to talk to you about—"

"Your request for Allen to stay behind?"

Kanda eyes, almost widened in surprise... Almost.

Meanwhile Komui rose from behind the mountain of papers and made his was around the table; a red tint to his cheeks and his eyes glued to his shoes with a strange sort of fascination.

Kanda raised an eyebrow in question.

"For safety measures... There was a camera set up in Allen's room... and... erm" Kanda watched with absolute horror as Komui pulled a small screen from behind his back, one he didn't notice was there, and one that had a clear picture of Allen's small figure, curled up under the thick blanket. Kanda's face flushed furiously, and in an instant Mugen was drawn and pressed threateningly to Komui's neck.

"I'll KILL you..."

"K-Kanda! I'm sorry! I wasn't intentionally spying! I didn't think you two would share such a... intimate... moment..." Kanda felt like lava had been poured on his face, embarrassment coursing through him as he thought of Komui and God knows who watching them. Seeing _his_ Allen moan and make _that_ face that only _he_ should see...

"**DIE KOMUI!"**

"NOOO! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE! LENALEE HELP ME!"

As if right on clue, the door burst open, distracting Kanda enough for Komui to slip away from him... but freezing at the sight in the door way. Frowning, Kanda turned as well, eyes widening in shock at the sight before him.

_Is that __**supposed**__ to be Lenalee?_

* * *

**{1 DAY LATER}**

* * *

The sun was annoying.

Yes, it gave light to the world and kept everything living and breathing, but right now, as it was scorching Allen's thin eyelids into nothingness and forcing him out of his virtually-non-existing peaceful slumbers... Yeah, he couldn't help but hate it.

"Gowayyy..." He slurred sluggishly, rolling over and hoping to slip back into his sleep. But already he could feel his tiredness slipping away, his heavy limbs becoming lighter, and his memories from the night before flooding his mind. He couldn't stop the flush on his face and the happy curl to his lips as he remembered Kanda's words from yesterday.

_"I didn't hate it... I really... Liked it"_

He barely managed to suppress his feminine squeal as he happily dug deeper under his blanket. Allen could only faintly remember the last time he'd felt that happy, and that was years ago, back when Mana was alive and-

_**Having fun are we?**_

Pale grey eyes flashed open, and clashed with liquefied gold laced with a_ very_dangerous undertone that had him scurrying away from the tanned face in front of him. Only to have a hand clamp down on his wrist and yank him forward again.

_**Aw Allen, you're hurting my feelings! Why can't you blush and smile like that when you look at me?**_

The mocking sarcasm in his voice was blatant, yet the tightening on his wrist added a new sense on seriousness to the situation and made Allen's heart beat that little bit faster.

_**Answer me Allen, what is so special about that samurai, hm? What is it that makes you believe that something will work out between you? Do you believe he's strong enough to kill me? Do you think he can give you courage to kill me?**_

Allen bit back a cry of pain as the grip became impossibly tighter, his bones giving an unnatural creak as it did. He knew that he would have to answer to stop his wrist being crushed (again), but he also knew if it wasn't worded wisely he would be getting more than just a snapped wrist.

If only he could reign in his fear and anger.

_What the hell do you want me to say Noah?_

_**Hohoho, someone is bit more feisty than usual, is it that samurai's doing? Do you feel stronger because of him? Do you need me to remind you that I could easily crush you and your beloved?**_

Allen's heart sank, a horrible feeling of dread twisting his stomach.

_Don't you dare touch Kanda!_

_**What's going to stop me? Thanks to your little stunt you're going to be left behind while I can follow **_**Kanda**_** freely. How unfortunate would it be for him to have an **_**accident**_** before he ever got the pleasure of popping your cherry...?  
**_  
"Leave him alone!" The smirking phantom disappeared just as a nurse rushed into the room, hearing his unintentional shout. Allen found himself propelled off of the bed by a both fear and determination, as he tried to fight past the nurse to reach Komui's office.

"Allen, please calm down!"

"No, I have to speak to Komui! I have to see Kanda!"

"Allen?"

Allen's gaze snapped up, landing upon a shocked, tired looking Kanda standing in the hallway. Before anyone could stop him he barged past the nurses, and jumped into his boyfriends arms, clinging onto him desperately just as his tears were about to fall. Strong arms wrapped around him, holding just as tightly and Allen could feel Kanda flooding his senses...

But along with his Beloved's presence came one that _wasn't_ so pleasant, Allen's eyes snapped open as he saw someone standing to Kanda's left.

Short pixie hair was gelled into spikes, a straight fringe covering one of the eyes that was caked in smoky eye shadow. Plump lips were painted black, a studded choker decorating a slim neck. A black leather, dangerously low-cut, skin-tight mini dress, clung to a thin, gently curved frame; with a split in the front so high up pale thighs that it would be hazardous to any caught watching. The look was finished with surprisingly colourful bracelets accompanying both skinny wrists, and fishnet tights that disappeared into knee high boots. Allen was shocked as his eyes clashed once again with liquefied gold, yet these eye didn't belong to the Noah he recognised.

_Lenalee?_

* * *

I know! Cliffhanger! Sorry! :-P


	15. Chapter 15

Heya guys! Do you remember me hating myself for "failing" my English Lit exam? Well, got my results last week and I got an A*! Feel kind of stupid for forcing my depressing mood on you now ^.^; but anyway, I got good results overall! Passed everything, start college next week and I wanted to share my happiness with you instead this time! Yay for me! And yay for this update!

Warning: Lenalee acting like a prostitute... Not even kidding.

* * *

**Chapter 15**

**{1 Day Earlier}**

_Is that __**supposed**__ to be Lenalee?_

Dark green hair was highlighted with its neon coloured counterpart. A skin tight, translucent tank top clung to her torso, stopping just above her navel and emphasising her blood red push up bra. Her legs were clad in fishnet tights and blue denim shorts - so short in fact, that half of her butt cheeks were hanging out of the bottom, showcasing her lack of underwear. Familiar knee high boots finished off the "new look".

_Oh dear __**Lord**__..._

A gurgling noise filled the room before Kanda heard a thump to his side. Komui was now lying on the floor, mouth frothing and body convulsing as if he was suffering from a stroke. It was obvious who was better at hiding their reaction when it came to this... situation.

"Yuu-chan!" Lenalee flew across the room with lightning speed, clinging to Kanda's arm and pressing her chest against him in a blatantly suggestive way. "Do you like my new wardrobe?" Lenalee than proceeded to give a slow turn, shaking her rear in a way that left it falling further out of her shorts and Kanda forcing down the bile rising in his throat, her turned away, facing the wall as he spoke.

"Go and get changed Lenalee. Now" Said girl then began to pout in what she'd assumed was a cute way.

"Yuu-chan! Don't you like it? I tried so hard to perfect this look as well!" Kanda glanced at the heavily made up face, the fake eyelashes fluttering in a way that must have been a failed-attempt at 'seductive'. Kanda turned away completely, pinching the bridge of his nose and silently counting to ten.

"Lenalee. Change. Now!"

"But yuu~chan~! You haven't told me how I look yet!" Kanda was beyond confused at the sudden change, but decided that harsh honesty was the only thing that would work with this 'fake Lenalee'. He turned to face her, his eyes hard and his demeanour cold.

"I've seen roughed up prostitutes looking better than you do right now. I don't know what's suddenly happened to you... But the Lenalee I know wouldn't dress or act like _this_." And with that, he turned on his heel, walking out of Komui's office.

Lenalee stood staring after the disappearing figure in shock, before a wave of hurt washed over her. She looked down in embarrassment, her eyes landing anywhere but on her new clothing and her unconscious brother.

_What the hell am I doing?_

Lenalee walked over to her brother, getting ready to wake him up and apologize for her out-of-character behaviour, but it was then she spotted the screen lying next to him.

She also noticed Allen in its frame.

Curious, she re-winded the video, noticing Kanda in the screen and pressing play. Her dark hatred resurfaced as she watched what happened, her eyes filling with tears as a familiar voice rung though her mind.

_**You see Lenalee? That whore has already made his move - you were too slow, and the slut's already lain a claim to him! Are you going stay here and let your man be taken whilst you sit here feeling sorry for yourself?**_

_No... NO!_

_**Then get up and make him love you! Even if it starts off as lust, it's a start nonetheless...**_

_You're right!_

Dropping the screen Lenalee ran out of the office, speeding down the halls as a barely visible blur, arriving at Kanda's dorm and throwing open the door.

"Roughed up prostitute, huh?"

Kanda, who was lying on his bed, suddenly sat up, his midnight blue eyes clashing with her (strangely) gold tinted ones. The door slammed behind her, and in a second she was across the room, sitting on Kanda's lap and holding his arms to the bed.

"I'll give you prostitute!" Without warning Lenalee began grinding into Kanda's groin, throwing her head back and moaning in pleasure. After a moment of shock Kanda grabbed Lenalee's arms flipping them and his bed so he could pin her arms down yet still untangle their limbs.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

Neah stood in the corner, chuckling quietly as he watched from where he leaned against the wall; finding Kanda's unspoken rejections and Lenalee's relentless attempts very amusing. The slight glint of gold in her eyes also proving that their bond had grown stronger, giving him the (sadly, rather limited) control he had over her body.

_**Something which I've obviously already put to good use...**_

His lips curled into a satisfied smirk as Kanda dragged Lenalee across his room before pushing her out of his room and slamming it shut, locking it behind him. He slid down his wall, completely bewildered by this sudden change of events, his fingers tangling in his hair. It was that moment that the Noah released the hold he had on Lenalee, letting the fresh memories flood through the girl's mind, along with the shame, disgust, and self-loathing he knew that followed.

It was that night, when Lenalee felt at her lowest, that Neah visited her properly, for the first time. If only Lenalee could see past her dark skinned mirror image, and realise it was just an illusion to cover a male form. If only she realised that the sweet words that he whispered in her ears were lies; and that the anger in the voice was directed at her beloved and not Allen. If only she realised that by signing that contract that appeared seemingly out of nowhere, that she was signing over the rights to her body, her mind and her free will.

If only someone could hear her deafening screams as Noah truly took over her body.

* * *

**{Present}**

_**Oh Allen oh Allen oh Allen, I wonder if you can tell that it's me staring at you now?**_

Pale grey eyes widened in shock, before narrowing wearily, trying to hide the unshed tears that made them glisten. The Noah pulled a sickly sweet smiled over his newly feminine lips.

_**This is something I'll need to get used to**_

"Good morning Allen, are you alright? You seem upset?" The Noah noticed the slight tightening of Allen's grip on the Samurai, and he felt himself twitch slightly in annoyance.

"Good morning Lenalee, I'm fine. I like your new... uh... look?"

"Thank you! It seems that yesterday's outfit didn't go down so well, so I decided to try gothic today. Do you like it?" He threw a pointed gaze at Kanda, whilst he spun, copying Lenalee's movements from the day before, he couldn't help but chuckle in his head at the glare he received.

_**This would be a lot more fun if this girl wasn't so easy to breakdown – but sadly, her will power pales in comparison to yours, my dear Allen. I wonder what you would do, if you could hear my voice coming from within this girl right now? If you realised that I could jump in and out as I please, controlling her, owning her, and using her to ruin your happiness. If this surprise wasn't needed for later I would be more than happy to show you.**_

"It's... erm... tight...?"

"Teeheehee! That's the look I was going for! Anyway, when you're dressed can you come to Nii-chan's office? He wants to see you guys."

"Okay... By the way Lenalee, your eyes—"

"Beautiful aren't they Allen? Contacts shipped over from China, it's such a unique colour isn't it?"

When Neah received a quiet reply, he waved his goodbyes and disappeared from the hospital ward, with one last smouldering gaze thrown at Kanda before he left.

_**Now that one is down, which exorcist should I claim?**_

* * *

I hope this chapter helped explain things :-)


	16. Chapter 16

**HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!**

**1****st**** Author's Note of the Year:**

**I'm not going to try and apologize or make any excuses. I'm just going to promise you, as an author, that I will now ****attempt ****to update once a week.**

**That is one of my New Year resolutions :-)**

**Anyways, enjoy lovely's ^.^**

* * *

**Chapter 16**

"Kanda... have you noticed anything... weird about the order?"

"Other than these new contacts everyone seems to be into?"

They both knew that wasn't what he meant, yet as the two walked side by side towards the cafeteria, both couldn't help but wonder whether the two were connected.

In the matter of days it took for Allen to heal, Kanda to convince Komui his secret boyfriend was in good health and for them to pack these golden contacts of Lenalee's seem to have spread through the Order like wild fire. First Lenalee, then Krory, then Miranda, even General Tidoll and a large number of finders started wearing the things; it was the latest craze to be sporting these imported contacts.

But some things didn't add up.

For starters, Komui didn't even know about them.

How could the Head of their Branch not know anything about these things, or how anyone was getting hold of them? And why was everyone's personality changing?

No one else seemed to notice, but Allen and Kanda, Masters of the facial mask, could see straight through the amateur masks in front of them. Sometimes nothing seemed to be wrong with these people, yet in a split second their eyes would flash gold and there would be a change.

How could these contacts just appear like that?

_And was no one else noticing these changes?_

"Hey," Knuckles gently grazing over his cheek had Allen blinking in surprise, before a smile spread over his lips.

"Sorry, just day dreaming."

"You and I both know that that's a lie" Allen's smile faltered slightly, whilst Kanda moved his hand up to gently card through his snowy locks. "I know what you're thinking Allen, and I know that you're worrying too. This isn't your problem to face alone, and you're whole I'm-fine-and-the-world-is-good-charade won't work on me either." A sigh escaped Allen's lips as he raised his hand to entwine his fingers with Kanda's. This time, a genuine smile spread across his face.

"Yeah... I know." Kanda began to lean forward, and blushing slightly, Allen's eyelashes fluttered shut.

Then the moment was shattered.

"MOYASHI!"

Allen's eyes snapped open and he shoved Kanda away, who stumbled backwards in surprise.

"Don't touch me BaKanda!"

He flashed the stunned looking samurai an apologetic look before Lavi came bouncing in between them.

"Now, now Yuu-chan, Moyashi-chan, don't be fighting in the hallways! The cafeteria is only just up ahead!"

"Tch. Whatever Usagi. And don't call me that." Kanda's cool mask was back and he stomped on ahead, with Lavi running behind him. Allen hid his smirk as he ran to catch up with the two as well.

***O*O*O***

"...Well... This is uncomfortable"

"No shit, Usagi"

The Cafeteria was completely full of people sporting these golden contacts.

All of these people had quickly backed away from Allen on sight, causing a slight pang in his chest as he sat down with Lavi.

There were stares, whispers and glares being thrown at him from all directions – so much so, that even Kanda felt obliged to sit with them and glare right back.

Allen kept his head down, poking around at his food, feeling a bit lost at the awkward silence that hung heavy in the air. Even Jerry didn't say a word as he handed them their food before quietly stalking away.

That was until Lenalee came bouncing through the doors.

There was a near uproar as everyone rushed to greet her, talk to her, touch her, and admire her 'new outfit'. Toady's wasn't any better, a see-through floral lace vest top and a pair of thin opaque tights; again, nothing was left to the imagination as she strode towards their table. Lavi leaned over to whisper,

"Hey guys... what's happened to Lenalee? Even _**I'M**_ uncomfortable seeing this much of her, and that's saying something since I've always kind of liked—"

"HEY GUYS!" said person flopped next to Kanda on the table, leaning heavily onto his shoulder. Allen saw how Kanda stiffened, before standing from his seat and calmly walking around the table to sit next to him. This left a pout on Lenalee's face, a shocked look on Allen and Lavi's, and a disgusted look in every golden pair of eyes watching them.

"Urm... Hey Lenalee, how are you—"

"So Kanda, are you excited for our mission?" Lavi's face fell a little at the obvious attempt to ignore him, and Kanda continued to eat his Soba. Silver grey eyes glanced between them, not quite sure what exactly was going on.

"Allen, can you pass me the salt?" Allen did as he was told, turning to reach for the salt.

"I could have passed you the salt Kanda, there's one right next to me."

"No you couldn't Lenalee, I don't know where your hands of been."

"Ohhhh, but I think you do" Lenalee slid her middle and index fingers in and out of her mouthm winking at as she did. Jaws dropped whilst silver and emerald eyes clashed.

_Did she just...? No... NO..._

_I think she did... Oh my GOSH she's flirting with Kanda!_

The idea didn't sit well with the either exorcists at all, and both turned to angrily devouring their food as a way to keep their mouths busy, still listening to the conversation.

"You're disgusting" Lenalee released her fingers with a pop, grinning as she wiped them on a table cloth.

"You know you secretly like it."

"I don't – believe me. Eat your food or leave." Lenalee snapped her fingers and Jerry came running, dropping her plate on the table before disappearing.

_Why is everyone at her beck and call?_

"Problem Allen?" A delicate green eyebrow rose, gold eyes boring into silver. He smiled back.

"No problem Lenalee, just thinking about the fun we're going to have starting tomorrow, on our mission"

The sarcasm wasn't hidden, the challenge was obvious and their glaring continued until a hand was reassuringly squeezing Allen's thigh, forcing him to look away.

Lavi sat in silence, still baffled by the whole ordeal.


	17. Chapter 17

**Enjoy ^_^**

* * *

**Chapter 17**

_**This is too easy**_

A long sigh of boredom escaped Neah's mouth as he watched the Finders and Exorcists pass by from the shadows. In a matter of days he'd wormed his way into the minds of around about 65% of this branch of the order.

_**They claim to be so strong, yet inside they're all so weak. Press one button and they all shatter so easily.**_

Admittedly, the progress he'd made should be considered good; but the speed of it all had him re-thinking what his ultimate plan was.

_**I could take over everyone and work my way through other branches**_

He shook his head.

_**To obvious. I could take over that Kanda just to spite Allen**_

Neah shuddered at the thought of both being inside the samurai's mind as well as the prospect of the 'intimacy' he'd share with Allen whilst there.

_**No... Maybe...**_

He sighed again, scratching his chin as he thought.

_**Or I could just drive Allen insane using those I control and break him, like I originally planned... But how can I make that plan better?**_

Neah shifted on his feet, not noticing that a certain exorcist was fast approaching.

_**Well, heart break seems like the best route where Allen is concerned. Maybe I can get Lenalee to fuck his man? Maybe even get the entire order to and have him walk in. Or how about abusing his trust? I could wait until him and that boy are close, then drag up secrets on his 'sensitive' subjects...  
**_  
Meanwhile Allen was trying his hardest not to storm down the corridor.

_Who the hell does she think she is, how DARE she try to flirt with MY Kanda! And right in front of MY face!_

He couldn't keep still, his fingers twitched and his eyes flickered onto every surface, unable to rest on just one thing.

_What is WRONG with her? Where did the attitude come fr—_

Allen jumped in shock, his movement startling the Noah out of his own thoughts. Allen fought a shudder as he glared the phantom down, severely disturbed by the sadistic grin that was just spread over his face.

_**Oh, hello Allen, I didn't see you there; enjoying the alone time I've given you with that trash?**_

Allen bristled at the insult.

"If anyone is trash around here it's—"

"Allen?"

The silver haired exorcist jumped again, head snapping to the side to find Kanda walking towards him.

"Kanda! I was... Uh... Practising my insults?"

The samurai came up next to him, slipping his fingers into his snowy hair and ruffling it slightly softly. Allen suppressed a whimper of happiness at the feeling; he ignored the gagging noises the Noah was making.

"That's why I didn't ask, come along, we're leaving now"

_**"Come along"? What a lovely puppy you must be**_

Allen turned his head and glared hard as he disappeared around the corner, following Kanda's retreating form.

_**You're getting too big for your boots Allen, maybe it's time I teach you your place... Again...**_

***O*O*O***

"Kanda! Hurry up! The faster you move the faster we can leave!"

Kanda intentionally slowed his pace to spite the girl, causing Allen chuckle as he walked ahead of him – but then regret doing so as his eyes landed on Lenalee.

_To be fair, she is more covered than usual..._

But her clothing wasn't any less disgusting. It seemed that nylon was her theme for the day, because neon green legging looked painted on from the top of her black boots to low on her hips. She wore a miniature matching vest top, whilst topping her assemble with a black and dark green, American football jacket.

All of her followers that were crowding around her seemed to part to make a path for the two; sneering at Allen whilst all but bowing to Kanda. It irked the both of them, but neither said anything until reaching Lavi and the rest of the people who weren't sporting these contacts.

"Timcampy!" The golden ball of fun tackled Allen, who barely kept his balance as he laughed and clung onto him. Kanda just managed to suppress a smile at his boyfriend's cuteness, and chose instead to head towards the group, ignoring the 'Baka Usagi' and making sure they had everything they needed before they left. Lenalee watched as they interacted, her eyes flickering to their original dark green as she almost felt sadness...

Almost

Just as quickly her eyes flickered back to gold, and she spun on her heal, wishing good bye to all of her fans who were all on the verge of tears. This didn't go unnoticed by the others, but again, no one said anything...

Well...

Almost

"Hey Lavi, where's Komui? Is he not going to come down and say good bye to us?"

"I don't think so. When I went to go and fetch him earlier he was sitting in the corner of his room in complete darkness, rocking himself and mumbling only God knows what."

"That sounds normal. Komui's always been overdramatic" Kanda deadpanned, everyone just rolled their eyes at him.

"But it's not the same Yuu-chan! Even threatening to do X-Rated stuff to Lenalee had no affect! That usually equals the WORST type of death sentence!"

This was a shock to everyone, but before anyone could do anything Allen decided to comment in his most innocent of voices.

"I can't blame him though. His beloved, pure sister is now sporting leather, camel toes and breathing sexual innuendoes. Who hasn't been at least a little bit traumatized by it all?"

A silence fell over everyone.

Those without contacts gawked at Allen's not-so-quiet outburst, with Lavi flushing crimson at the comment and Kanda chuckled quietly to himself. Allen himself turned towards said sister and gave his biggest smile. Completely ignoring the crowd of piecing gold eyes glowering at him with unadulterated hatred, he spun on his heals - in a way a bit too similar to Lenalee – and smiled genuinely at his friends.

"Bye guys! We'll be back as soon as possible! Look after yourselves and Komui - he needs you now more than ever!"

Allen skipped up to and slid into the car that would be taking them to the station, and before long the amused Kanda and the obviously seething Lenalee followed him.

As the car drove away their friends could only pray that they would return without killing each other.


	18. Chapter 18

**8 Days! Just over a week! I'm getting better! Enjoy ^_^**

* * *

**Chapter 18**

_Well... This is fun..._

The sarcasm was heavy in his mind as Kanda glanced around the slight claustrophobic feeling train cabin. Claustrophobic not because of the size (which was actually big enough to dwarf a small apartment and practically filled the entire coach), but due to two, exorcists in particular.

Lenalee sat opposite him on the couch facing his, glaring at the snowy haired exorcist next to him who returned the withering look. There was an awkward, heavy silence in the cabin, leaving Kanda scratching his head in discomfort. Too soon it got too much and he finally spoke up.

"Lenalee, I don't know why you're making such a fuss over this. These sleeping arrangements were done by your brother to save money and I have no problem with them. Accept it. Move on"

_For the sake of my sanity at least_

"There are _two_suites" she muttered.

"Yes, there is Lenalee"

"But there's _two_beds" her murmur became a full blown hiss as she narrowed her eyes at Allen.

"Correct"

"So _why_must it be you two who share?"

"Because _Lenalee_, Komui has finally come to realise you're a hoe, and that any dick is enough for you. At least if you're away out of our sight then you're _definitely_out of mind" A gasp of indignation was heard before Kanda stood, effectively blocking the two from their imminent physical clash.

"Enough! Lenalee, you're a _girl_, it wouldn't be good for you to share a bed with a man, even if he is a colleague. Please understand that your brother wants to protect you"

A fake pout spread on her face as Lenalee rose, slinking closer to the samurai; a single finger absentmindedly tracing patterns on his chest. Allen's grinding teeth could suddenly be heard loud and clear.

"But Yuu-chan! I'm a _woman_! And as a _woman,_I wanna stay with you!"

Kanda batted the stray hand away, putting on his coldest no-nonsense face.

"Lenalee. Go. To. Your. Cabin. _Now_."

Her dark green eyelashes fluttered again, but when Kanda's face showed no change she huffed and stormed towards the door; throwing one final glare over her shoulder at Allen before slamming it shut.

The tension disappeared as soon as she did.

"...Sooo..."

Allen voice came out much quieter, as the reality of their situation sunk in.

_Me and Kand, are (practically) alone. We're going to be alone for the next couple of days... In this cabin... Sharing space... Sharing a BED!_

Some very unclean scenarios began to play themselves out in Allen's mind, causing his body to feel a little bit hotter and make him pull his thighs a little closer together. A quiet click from the cabin door locks made him jump, snapping him out of his thoughts. Kanda looked over to him in confusion from where he stood in front of it, before a devious smirk spread over his lips.

"Is something wrong Moyashi?"

Said exorcist shook his head and looked away, a slight blush on his cheeks. Grinning, the dark-haired samurai stalked towards him, making Allen shift uncomfortably in his seat, eyes glancing around looking for some sort of escape. The samurai stopped right in front of him, crouching down to rest his hands on Allen's now crossed legs.

"You were thinking dirty things weren't you Moyashi?"

Allen blushed a bright crimson, spluttering and making Kanda inwardly smile as he listened to the loud, stuttered answer.

"B-Bakanda! Of c-course not! Don't get big-headed all of a s-sudden!"

Kanda gave a look of mock hurt, before leaning closer to his Moyashi, stopping inches from his face. One of his hands firmly gripped Allen's chin, turning his face to his to get eye contact.

"Don't you find me attractive Allen?"

Allen mumbled something incoherent, his blush getting deeper. The older exorcist leaned in further, his lips brushing his boyfriend's as he whispered...

"Are you nervous Allen?"

Allen audibly gulped as he felt Kanda's hands slide down his neck and stop. A soft, wet tongue flicked against his lips as the question was repeated.

"Are you nervous Allen?"

He barely suppressed a shudder as Kanda's fingers slid further over his chest, his touch seeming to burn through his clothes as it stopped just below his belly button. His legs uncrossed and spread slightly without him even knowing, almost as his body was unconsciously anticipating what was to come.

Allen's breaths got shorter, turning into soft pants as he stared into those deep, midnight blue eyes.

_Why does he have such an effect on me?_

Meanwhile Kanda was finding it _very_hard to keep to keep his thought clean as he stared at his boyfriends face; his pale grey eyes darkening and misting over with lust. Even with his immense control he could still feel his trousers tightening rather quickly.

_Why does he have such an effect on me?_

The pearly white teeth nipping at his lips is what sent him over the edge, and Allen flung his arms around his boyfriends next. His lips parted as they joined with Kanda's, his head turning and his tongue twisting and turning to a beat that only they knew. Kanda's wandering hand was left forgotten until he was tugged forward, causing a slight loss of balance; leaving it to slide and press not-too-gently against his boyfriends groin.

Their kiss was broken by Allen's groan.

Kanda could hear his control _crack_.

_This boy will __**seriously**__ be the death of me, I swear it..._

"Alle-"

"YUU-CHAAAN! YUUU-CHAAAAAN!"

Both of them froze at the banging on the door.

_Lenalee..._

The noise seemed to snap him out of his lustful daze and he shoved away from Kanda, not wanting to be caught in such a compromising position, even if it only was Lenalee.

"YUUUUUUUU-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

Cursing under his breath Kanda stomped towards the door whilst Allen sat trying to force his body to calm down.

The mood was completely destroyed.

_Damn it damn it damn it! Why is it I always react like that? Why why why why why? This is going too damn fast!_

After his little moment Allen locked himself in the bathroom to 'sort out' his problem, then decided to stay there to avoid facing Kanda.

That night they shared a bed with an Allen-built-pillow-wall between them.

The first day was finally over, but it still wasn't looking good.

* * *

**Wow guys, I think that this is the first chapter I've written without Neah since he's been introduced. Weird o_O Anyways, This is another filler chapter, but things are about to spice up! Review please!**


	19. Chapter 19

**I'm back! :D  
By the way, the train cabins I was talking about in the last chapter are based on those Japanese high-speed trains that you can sleep in overnight (that have beds and stuff). I think they're pretty cool, so I decided to write about a more posh version. Enjoy! ^.^**

* * *

**Chapter 19**

"Allen?"

A long groan escaped the sleeping exorcist, who rolled over and curled up further against his boyfriend's chest. Said boyfriend sighed, trying to sound exasperated, but ended up smiling at the cuteness of his Moyashi.

"Allen, wake up"

Another groan was heard as Allen curled up further, pressing himself closer and making Kanda grin. The supposed pillow-wall lay scattered around their bed, Allen being the one to end up destroying it in his sleep.

_Our bed... I could get used to that..._

The samurai leaned down, pressing a kiss against his boyfriend forehead.

_And this..._

"Allen, wake up, breakfast is ready"

Allen didn't want to wake up, yet he knew he was fighting a losing battle. He could already smell their fry up breakfast, hear the soft rumbling of the train, feel the sunlight threatening to blind him and the warm of skin against his cheek.

_...Skin?_

Silver lashes fluttered as pale grey eyes blinked open. He squinted in the bright light, before his eyes focused on the tattooed chest in front of him.

_Tattooed chest?_

He shot up in bed, eyes landing on his amused looking, topless, boyfriend - topless being the word of focus in the sentence. And focus he did, his eyes roving over the exposed skin before a quiet chuckle had him looking away with a blush.

"...what happened to the wall?"

"You knocked it down in your sleep"

Allen's blush darkened as his boyfriend shifted, sitting up and leaning in for a kiss. Their lips came together, with Allen inwardly sighing at the touch of the hand gently stroking his cheek. Their kiss was short and they soon pulled apart, but it left both of them feeling calm and content. A simply sweet morning kiss could do wonders.

"Good morning Moyashi"

"Good morning BaKanda"

Kanda rolled his eyes as he slipped off the bed to pull over the food trolley left by the train staff.

The rest of their breakfast was held in a peaceful silence.

The same couldn't be said for the room next to them.

***O*O*O***

_**I see that you're still struggling, how very cute indeed**_

Never before had Lenalee felt such pain. Her soul was, literally, being exhausted to breaking point. Here, she was trapped in the depths of her very own mind yet she could do nothing. The contract had her bound, taking the form of the now blood stained shackles that clung to her wrists and ankles, and the rusty chains restricting her body. She was bloody, bruised, and her form screamed for rest.

_**But that would just be too nice of me wouldn't it?**_

She forced herself to raise her head and glare at the mocking tone coming from now cackling Noah.

_You w-won't win, you f-filthy Noah!_

_**Oh, won't I really? In case you've forgotten, most of your branch - and a few of you Generals - are already under my control. You're fighting a losing battle little girl.  
**_  
_But we have Allen! Allen will beat you! Allen will beat all of you!_

_**How ironic, the very person you were just out to get is now the person you're calling to save. But anyway, that's of no concern to me, by the time I'm done using you there'll be no Allen left to fight**_

___He'll see through it! He'll see it isn't me!_

_**...Girl, are you blind? **_**This is you**_**. Don't you understand my powers yet? I pray on the dark, hidden thoughts in your mind and bring them to life; my powers take **_**their**_** form. This is **_**you**_**; this is how **_**you've**_** always wanted to behave and what **_**you've**_** always wanted to say. I refuse to take blame for the darkness in **_**your**_** heart.  
**_  
Lenalee shook her head, trying to banish his words from her mind.

_**Try all you want. I can take over your body whenever I choose, but when I'm not there, my powers simply take over. You have no chance of escaping me.  
**_  
She could feel the last shreds of her resolve shatter, her vision blurring from tears before darkening for what may be forever.

_**You'll never beat me alone Lenalee.**_

***O*O*O***

"Achoo!"

"Bless you"

"Urgh... I wonder who's talking about me"

Kanda simply shrugged in a it-could-be-anyone kind of way, pulling Allen closer against him. They were back in bed, just lazing about under the thick covers. Allen was hoping to get some more sleep, but it seemed that Kanda just wouldn't let that happen. He could feel it.

"Kanda, just ask. We have, what, two days left after today on this train? We may as well get the air cleared so when we leave, we can focus on finding Cross"

Kanda heaved a sigh, resting his chin of top of snowy white locks, annoyed he'd been caught out already. For a few moments there was silence as he collected his thoughts, before finally, he spoke up.

"Do you remember before, when I challenged you to fight?"

Allen nodded into his shoulder...

"And we were talking about your innocence...?"

...his body then tensed.

This wasn't what he'd expected, and he wasn't sure if he was quite ready to answer it yet. But when the samurai shifted again, so their eyes locked, he could feel himself softening. There wasn't an ounce of pity there, just a willingness to understand the one he loves.

_Woah, loves? Let's not get ahead of ourselves Allen, we've been in a relationship all of what a week, it's still way too early for him.  
_  
As much as he tried to distract himself with his own internal musings, those eyes in front of him never veered from his, those impossibly blue eyes never wavered.

_Damn it, why am I so _weak_ against those bloody eyes of his?_

"Well, Allen?"

_... I should tell him really, he has the right to know, especially since things may go wrong on this mission. But... Still..._

"I don't... know if I can..."

Their gazes broke Allen turned away, he couldn't help but feel ashamed of his weakness.

_Even now, no matter how much I pretend to not care, that Noah still has an effect on me. I shouldn't be afraid of him! I _never_ should have been!_

"...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset first thing in the morning. Forget I said anything."

Allen winced at the genuinely apologetic tone, and his felt his anger begin to build up.

_Enough! I refuse to let him have control anymore!_

"I don't know if I can, but at least I can try."

* * *

**Dun dun duuuuuhhhh!  
...Sorry guys, I know I just ruined the moment, when there wasn't really much of a moment anyways. -_-' But I updated on time! Yay! R&R for being a better author! **


	20. Chapter 20

**I'm on a roll! :D Enjoy! ^.^**

**Warning: I think this chapter is kind of deep, so I'm giving you a heads up for darker themes near the end.**

* * *

**Chapter 20**

_**Stupid girl, wasting my morning and energy...**_

Neah sighed, trying to hold in his "unbecoming" grumbling as he slipped through the wall of Lenalee's cabin. She'd slipped back into her abyss, and she'd definitely be staying there for a while.

_**But for how long, I'm still not sure**_

It was a tiring process keeping so many under his control all at the same time.

_**But it shouldn't be**_

Neah couldn't help but frown, it really shouldn't be this much of a problem to keep control. These kind of measly numbers were the ones he dealt with unconsciously, without even needing to put any thought into. The fact that it was a struggle proved that he still wasn't as strong as he used to be, much less strong enough to face the Earl.

_**I could easily drain them, or feed off of their misery, but that would be too obvious and to coincidental.**_

As he began to walk down the corridor to do some exploring, he abruptly came to a stop. Raising a dark, single brow, he pressed his ear to the door and listened.

"Do you remember before, when I challenged you to fight?"

_**Kanda**_

Neah face twisted into one of disgust, as if just saying the name left a bad taste in his mouth.

"And we were talking about your innocence...?"

At first, the Noah was slightly confused, but then a slow grin spread over his face.

_**Of course, Allen can't activate his innocence**_

"Well, Allen?"

There was a short silence, as they both waited for Allen's answer.

"I don't... know if I can..."

He chuckled quietly, almost as if he knew that giving an answer was impossible for his little exorcist.

_**But then again, it probably is impossible. After all, I had to make our first proper meeting memorable.**_

"...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset first thing in the morning. Forget I said anything."

Neah snorted at the samurai, rolling his eyes as he began to move away from the door.

_**This turned out to be more boring that I thought it would be—**_

"I don't know if I can, but at least I can try."

He stopped again, both eyebrows rising at the voice. Was Allen really going to try and re-tell this tale?

_**This, I **_**have got**_** to see.**_

Without a second thought the Noah slipped through the wall and into the couple's cabin.

***O*O*O***

"Allen, you don't have to if you don't want to. I won't force you into anything"

A comforting hand slipped into his hair, massaging his scalp and making him all but purr at the feeling.

"No. I have to. I can't let that Noah have control of me any longer, and... and..."

He gulped slightly, gaze flicking up again.

"And you're my b-b-boyfriend, so it's okay to tell you... I trust you."

Allen hid his face in Kanda's shoulder again, cheeks blazing at his confession. It was the first time he'd actually called Kanda his boyfriend out loud, and it left him feeling giddy but incredibly embarrassed. Meanwhile, the samurai who he was hiding from had a slight pink blush himself; his heart speeding up slightly at the confession.

The hand that was massaging Allen's head was now used to direct his face towards Kanda's, and they shared another sweet, simple, kiss.

Neah gagged in the background, but still went unnoticed.

"Are you sure about this?"

Allen nodded, giving him a small, genuine smile.

"Well, just know that you can stop whenever you feel comfortable"

Allen snuggled closer to his boyfriend, feeling himself fall in love even more when presented with such kindness. However, as he began to think about what exactly to say, he found his mood becoming darker and darker.

Meanwhile Neah was quickly growing annoyed with this sickly-syrup-sweet scene in front of him. He could feel his blood boiling as he saw the samurai's hands moving to gently rub circles into his little exorcist's back.

_**Oh, Kanda Yuu, how I will enjoy torturing you**_

"Well, what happened itself isn't that complicated, but it's just... Argh"

"Just start from the beginning Allen, nobody's rushing you. We have more than enough time"

Feeling encouraged by his boyfriend Allen took a deep breath, then started speaking.

"Well, I don't know if you know this. But after I sent you and Alma Karma into the arc, Link - you know, one of the Third Exorcists - caught me and Timcampy. Leverrier decided I was now a threat, and I was locked up in a cell underground in the main HQ. I'd only been released the day you fell through the numberless arc door"

The look of surprise on Kanda face showed that no one had actually decided to tell him; and the obvious shift to anger made Allen's heart swell with pride.

"Well, it all happened while I was down there. I... don't know how to say this bit without sounding crazy..."

"Allen, I know you're not completely crazy so don't worry-"

A playful smack to the chest left him chuckling and Allen continuing his story with a slight pout.

"As I was saying, Neah - that's the real name of the fourteenth - stopped being the fuzzy whisper in the back of my mind... I can see his face perfectly now... and hear him crystal clear"

Kanda's eyes widened, recognition and understanding filling his eyes.

"So in the hall you were talking to...?"

Allen nodded barely, before he continued, this time quieter than before.

"...People thought I was insane – still think I'm insane. It was as if he kept getting stronger while I got weaker. At first I didn't think it was too bad, th-that I could fight him alone b-but..."

A sense of dread filled the samurai as he cradled his boyfriend, only imagining the horrors he must have endured under the Noah's torture. Meanwhile, said Noah was laughing quietly in the background, still going unnoticed.

"He's _always_there. It's like... He chooses when to be visible, when to be heard. But he's always there!"

Quiet laughter turned into roaring laughter, but it was still left unheard by the occupants of the king size bed.

_**Because I choose to...**_

"But that day, that day was the worst. I hadn't been eating, because the food was drugged, but Link brought food from our Black Order branch. He sat down, and was trying to talk to me, but then - out of nowhere - that Noah grabbed a chair and flung it at Link. I didn't even know he could do stuff like that! And Link thought it was me!"

Kanda heard his voice catch, and felt the hot tears against his shoulders. He squeezed his boyfriend tighter, his heart breaking at the sight of it.

"A-and he j-just ran! And l-left me to f-fight the Noah! And he... He..."

Kanda moved away for the briefest moment, grabbing the box of tissues on the drawer next to the bed. He placed them next to Allen, before snagging a few and gently pressing them to his face, causing the younger exorcist to chuckle slightly, sniffling into the tissue.

"Allen, I'm sorry"

Snowy hair shook as Allen blew his nose.

"It's not your f-fault... I haven't r-really gotten to the main p-point yet."

Allen, took another breath, clenching his hands and steadying his voice.

"I'd jumped into the way, so the chair hit me instead, but Link still ran. After that, the door slammed shut. When I turned around, he was standing right of me. Before I could do anything he's reached out to touch me. That's it, that's all he did. He pressed his fore and middle finger to my forehead. That was when I saw it."

Allen clenched onto his tissues so hard that his knuckles turned as white as his hair, and he whispered his last words, making Kanda strain to hear them.

"I saw it. I saw all the things he'd done in the name of the Millenium Earl. The many rooms of the arc weren't used for the Noah Clan. They were his personal torture rooms. Every single soul who'd ever become an akuma has been personally dealt with by him. I saw it... he... tortured them. I could _see_ the blood splattering the pavements as if it were rain. I could _smell_ the stench of rot and burnt flesh and hair. I could _feel_ the slicing, tearing, burning and the intense pain it bought everyone of them. I can _still hear _their piercing screams of agony of men, women, and children alike as they begged for mercy while _he just kept going_. I watched as he raped and destroyed their very souls in _every_ sense of the word and I was left with a promise and a curse. The next time I activate my innocence, it'll recognise me as an enemy, and I'll be sealed away, forever trapped in those looping memories as he's left to take over."

The silence that followed was deafening.

* * *

**R&R!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Warning: Some deep gore, may upset some readers at the end of the chapter.**

**Enjoy ^.^**

* * *

**Chapter 21**

"I watched as he raped and destroyed their very souls in every sense of the word and I was left with a promise and a curse. The next time I activate my innocence, it'll recognise me as an enemy, and I'll be sealed away, forever trapped in those looping memories as he's left to take over."

The silence that followed was deafening._  
_  
Kanda remained frozen in horror and disgust as his mind digested what his boyfriend said.

_Torture rooms? But there was endless... Imagine how many souls... Shit..._

Neah's laughter had fallen silent, his eyes narrowing almost to a squint as he seethed in fury.

_**So you managed to say it after all Allen?**_

The Noah turned and left the room, not bothering to listen in further and searching for a way to vent his silent rage.

"Allen... I'm so _sorry_; you had to go through _so much_and..."

"I-it's fine, I'm coping with it better now. It's just sometimes, when I sleep I get d-dreams and—"

"You don't need to go any further, I get what you're trying to say; but it's just... Allen, you were alone and I just wish... if I was around then maybe... I'm sorry, I _really_am sorry."

Allen sighed again, feeling exhausted by the whole thing, but at the same time feeling somewhat proud of himself.

_I managed to tell him. I'm getting better. I'm getting stronger.  
_  
"...do you know where he is now? The Noah?"

A quick shake of the head filled the samurai with dread.

"After you fell through the gate, he told me he'd give me some peace and quiet before returning. That time we saw each other in the hallway was a shock to the both of us I think."

Kanda nodded, his mind tripping over the numerous theories he was coming up with.

_What if he left to create his own army of akuma? No one has been through the Arc since, what if he's torturing souls as we speak? Or what if he's been trying to reach out to other Noah's and get them on side? What if he decided to re-join the Noah Clan and follow the Millennium Earl? What if he used that time to try and infiltrate the Order? It would make sense right?_

Allen reached out to rub his boyfriend's forehead, hoping to dispel the frown in place. It worked, and Kanda smiled down at him as he smiled back.

"Too much thinking isn't good for you Kanda"

"Not enough isn't good for you either Allen"

He gained another smack for that, but he was happy to see his Moyashi smiling again.

"Don't worry about... _this_ Allen, I may not be that much help, but just know that I'm here for you. Always."

_And Kanda doesn't think I'm freak. He wanted to be there for me. He _wants_ to be _here_ for me._

Kanda still had his questions, but he decided to save them for another time, and was simply content to lean down for another sweet kiss.

***O*O*O***

"Just call out their name, and they'll come back to you."

"R-really? And m-mommy will come back, Mister?"

"Of course she will, just try it!"

"...mommy?"

"She won't be able to hear it if you whisper. Shout it louder"

"M-mommy!"

"Louder"

"Mommy!"

"Louder!"

"Mooooommmyyyyyy!"

Neah watched in silence as the soul of the girl's mother was dragged down, watching with a silent, sadistic pleasure as rusted chains lacerated the sctruggling soul. The mechanical figure started twitching, its jaw stretching as a distorted voice filled the room.

"What... have... you... DONE?"

"M-mommy? Is t-that you?"

The girl, who looked barely eight, went running blindly towards the clinking figurine; still not realising the severity of the situation.

"Stay... away! Run! RUN!"

The girl clung to the cold legs of the figurine, tears of happiness streaming down her rounded cheeks.

"Mommy! You came back! You really came back!"

She turned to the Noah with a beaming smile.

"Thank you! Thank you Mister!"

Gold eyes didn't flinch as a raised metal claw slashed the tender flesh of the child. Neah was deaf to the horrified screams of the mother, who could do nothing as she watched the slaughter of her only child. His heart was numb to the sight of life slipping from her now glassy eyes; as was his skin to the warm splat of blood against it whilst the new akuma messily finished and began crawling into its new skin.

It had been hours since he'd listened to Allen's shared conversation with the samurai.

One thousand souls had been dragged from their respective destinations to him.

One thousand akuma had been created to join his army in that time.

_**It seems that anger gives me a better power drive.**_

He spun on his heal and began to walk away, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe the stray blood from his cheek.

_**By tomorrow morning, my little revenge would've reminded him of his place, but not quite broken him yet.**_

* * *

**{THE NEXT MORNING}**

* * *

A violent shake of their cabin threw Allen out of the bed and onto the wood panel flooring; jolting him awake in the most uncomfortable of ways.

He clung to his sore side as he sat up, his sleepy eyes trying to focus on the moving figure of his boyfriend.

"Kanda... what's happening?"

"The train is being attacked, there are hundreds of akuma out there and Lenalee is nowhere in sight!"

The angry growl had Allen's eyes widening on shock as the samurai threw a jacket over his now fully dressed form, and rounded the bed to meet him.

"I have to go, but no matter what _stay here_. And please, _don't activate your innocence_. We don't know if that Noah's curse will hold out and I won't forgive myself if you get hurt."

"But Kanda—"

"_Please _Allen!"

Allen opened his mouth again to argue, but something else crashed into the cabin, sending them both flying to the floor.

"Promise me Allen!"

After another moment's hesitation, Allen let out a sigh of frustration and gave his resignation.

"I promise."

A short, desperate kiss was pressed to his lips, before Kanda rose and ran for the door.

Allen was left alone, with only the prayer that Kanda would return.

* * *

**So how's it going everybody? Good? Bad? Are you licking the twists and turns of my fic so far?**


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

"Shit!"

Kanda barely managed to dodge the akuma bullets shooting at him from all directions. He was panting hard, quickly losing breath yet not being spared even a second to rest. Neah watched the onslaught with a slight smirk on his face. He'd made sure that before he came here he had a wide enough range of akuma present to keep the little samurai on his toes. He watched in satisfaction as a blast from a level three skimmed past said samurai's head. Neah smirk grew as his eyes flickered to his watch.

_**...one hour and fifty six minutes of non-stop fighting and you're only just beginning to slip Kanda. You've killed about... The same number of my akuma in that time. Impressive. But your guess was wrong, I'd say I have at least a thousand more where that came from**__**  
**_  
***O*O*O*****  
**  
BOOM!

The carriage shuddered but the train kept moving. Allen had moved from the bed to the couch and was sitting there, all but tearing his hair out. There was no way for him to vent his anxiety.

_Damn it... The train keeps moving further from Kanda, but if it stays the people on the train will be in serious danger._

Frustrated, Allen rose, with Timcampy faithfully flying next to him as he stormed towards the window. Yanking it open he shoved his head out, only to yank it back as stray bullets zoomed past the window. Trying again, he stuck his head out, eyes searching for his boyfriend. His cloudy grey eyes quickly landed on Kanda's tired looking figure, the sky around him black with the swarming akuma. His fists clenched and his heart ached.

_I should be there with him. I should helping him protect these people!__  
_  
_**Then why don't you?**_

Allen's head snapped to the side, his worried gaze turning into an icy glare.

_You... You did this didn't you?_

Golden eyes glittered with amusement, a chuckle escaping full, dark lips.

_**Now why would you automatically assume it's me? I'm not the only Noah after you now am I?**_

A loud hiss had Allen's attention back on the man he loved. His eyes widened at the sight of blood dripping down Kanda's left arm. His stomach sank and he felt sick at the sight.

"KANDA!"

He saw Kanda jolt in surprise at the voice calling him, and at first he felt happy... Then his eyes landed on the akuma now turning to face him, and dread began to fill him. Originally he hadn't meant to scream so loud, he'd hoped to bite his tongue and keep his promise. Instead, he'd managed to effectively gain the full attention of both his boyfriend and the akuma swarm... Most of which were now rushing towards him and the train full of people.

***O*O*O*****  
**  
"ALLEN! GET INSIDE!"

His scream was too late, the monstrous cloud was already moving towards the train in a fast, ominous swirl. Kanda found his feet quickly back-pedalling towards his priority... Whether that was Allen, or the civilians, in the moment he wasn't quite so sure.

The silver hair disappeared behind the window and Kanda couldn't help feel slightly relieved.

_This is _ridiculous_! I can't afford to waste any more time with these freaking akuma!__  
_  
Kanda stopped suddenly, turning to face the cloud with a steely look on his face. Three pitch black dots formed in his stormy blue irises as black, cracked looking vein formed around his eyes; the tattoo on his chest glowing in response to the sudden change. The air around him began to spark and crackle with the amount of energy he was building.

"Third Illusion... Exploding Spirit Cut! * "

***O*O*O***

Just as Allen pulled back from the window there was an explosion of light and sounds. The dying screeches of hundreds of Noah creating a cacophony that left his ears ringing horribly. The blades of light seeming to slice the very air were so intense in their light that Allen was left blinking and rubbing his eyes to lessen the sting.

Yet as abruptly as it started, everything stopped. Feeling confused, Allen gingerly poked his head out of the window for the last time.

The sky was once again a clear blue, no akuma or Noah were in sight. The door clicked behind him, and Allen turned, sprinting towards his boyfriend just in time to catch him as he collapsed from exhaustion.

Deep but loud laughter had him glancing over his shoulder, yet the cackling Noah was left unfazed by Allen's growl of anger.

_**How cute, your prince charming ran off to save you and now you've come to treat his wounds. Let me guess, you're about to make him a huge victory meal. Maybe throw in some thank you sex at the end?**_

_You make me sick! What is wrong with you Noah! Why can't you just leave me, my friends and the human race alone?_

_**Oh really, I make YOU sick? YOU make ME sick Allen Walker! You act like you can save the world, but you can't even protect your own friends!**__What do you mean-_

_**Forgetting someone?**_

Allen paused in his thoughts as Neah's words sunk in.

There was one person who wasn't present for any of this.

_Oh my God... Lenalee... WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO LENALEE?_

_**You think you're life is so sweet now that you've got some dick? What are you going to do now that your beloved boyfriend is out of action Allen? What are you going to do now that there's no Lenalee to protect you?**_

Allen's heart was pounding in his chest, his fingers twitching with the urge to wrap themselves around the Noah's neck. Kanda stirred slightly against him, but he dared not turn to him and lose sight of the Noah in front of him.

_**So Allen, now that you're all alone with no one to protect you... how do you feel about a little bet?**_

* * *

*One of his attacks, if you don't remember it check it out on -Man Wiki :-)

Anywhos, hope it was dramatic enough for you X-P


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

_No._

A childish pout was slipped onto the Noah's face, but the innocent gesture didn't come close to meeting his eyes - and Allen couldn't help but feel disgusted at the pretence.

_**It's a simple one really. There's no reason for you not to.**_

Allen bit back a snort.

_I refuse to play games with you Neah, you're pathetic. Instead of being a man and keeping this between us you're targeting the people I love._

Neah's eyes narrowed ever so slightly.

_**Love? And what exactly is it that you love Allen? Kanda's dick? Lenalee's attention? As someone who hasn't received much 'love', you're very quick to throw around a word you don't understand.**_

_...Mana loved me_

The slight hesitation in Allen's voice didn't go unheard.

_**Don't deceive yourself Allen. He loved me, who was inside of you**_.

Allen begun dragging his boyfriend to lay on the bed, attempting to ignore the likely truth in the Noah's words - and that didn't sit well with said person.

_**Face it Allen, you and I both know that this is the truth. My brother came searching for me and you were the non-factor that was dragged along.**_

Allen tried hard to feign deafness as he lifted the exhausted Kanda onto the bed. Any wounds of his had already healed over, but so much stress to his newly restored body wasn't good, and Allen wanted to get him on the bed to sleep it off as soon as possible.

_**Pretending I'm not here doesn't make me disappear Allen. I thought you were smarter than this.**_

Allen continued to bite his tongue, keeping his gaze focused on his boyfriends face for both comfort and distraction.

_**But you're not that smart are you? You're nothing really, just a little boy who's full of hot air due to the undeserved praise he gets from his peers.**_

_That's not true_

Neah had to stop his smirk, Allen had fallen for his trap.

_**But it is true isn't it? The Noah you fight so hard against saved you from the Apocryphos – only because I reside in you. Cross only ever picked you up at Mana's request – because I reside in you. The innocence you have I'm sure is only with you to counteract ME that resides in you. Face it Allen. You. Are. Nothing.**_

_I am something you damn Noah! I am Allen Walker and I am an exorcist! I have a boyfriend who loves me and friends who care about me and I'm not alone. You can't say the same can you? That's why I'll always come out on top no matter you throw at me!_

_**Then prove it. Take the bet.**_

_What the hell is your damn bet?!_

_**1 month in the arc.**_

_Is that a-_

_**Not your arc. Mine. Live it. Every room. Every soul. You have to go through them all, because your little friend Lenalee has her soul trapped in the last room. If you're not fast enough she'll reach the point of no return, and if you're not strong enough physically or mentally well... Either the shadows will devour you or you'll lose your mind like the rest of them.**_

The silence that followed seemed endless, until finally, Allen spoke up.

_... what's the catch?_

_**You're not allowed to use your innocence. My curse still stands.**_

_And if I win?_

_**You get Lenalee back, you're innocence back, and I'll reveal the way to remove my soul from your body.**_

_...and if you win?_

A sinister grin spread over Neah's face, causing a sickening shiver to run down Allen's spine.

_**If I win I get your mind, body and soul to do with as a please.**_

Silvery eyes locked onto molten gold for what seemed a lifetime before the steady chime of a nearby clock caused the Noah's grin to drop and their gaze to break.

_**You have one hour to decide.**_

He then vanished without a trace, and Allen couldn't stop the rage boiling his blood because of his foolishness.

_... I walked into that. Damn it._

***O*O*O***

"Allen, don't. This is a trap, there's obviously some sort of hidden clause or something that he plans to use. This seems almost too easy"

It was thirty minutes after the Noah had laid down his rules that Kanda had woken up, and it had taken Allen another ten minutes to explain them to Kanda properly. They'd spent the last fifteen minutes debating and only five minutes were left before decision time. A decision still hadn't been made.

"Kanda what else can I do? If I refuse Lenalee may become another victim and onslaughts like today may continue. It isn't fair of me to keep expecting you to save me."

"Allen, it's my job as an exorcist to protect the people that can't protect themselves and my job as your boyfriend to protect you. Dealing with the devil isn't going to help anyone."

"But what if I _can_ help this way? If we can get Lenalee and my innocence back then we'll easily be able to support you in fighting whatever heads our way."

"No , this is too risky. I don't trust that creature at all. Stop trying to put yourself into such a dangerous situation when you can't defend yourself right now."

That irked the silver haired exorcist.

"I'm not useless Kanda. If this is the only way I can help then I'll help. That's the end of it."

"You could die there. And if that Noah doesn't kill you only God knows what he's planning to do to your soul-"

"Kanda. I'm going. The end"

The samurai opened his mouth to speak again but then abruptly shut his mouth and turned away from Allen, focusing his glare on the field passing by outside.

There was one minute remaining, and they spent it in silence.

* * *

Did you miss me guys? Huh? Did ya? Sorry for this unofficial hiatus, I was kind of focused on getting into uni ^^;

Anyways, anybody know who **Perfume** are? Well, I saw them last night in concert, they were amazing, and their energy gave me energy to write this, so I hope it's good enough!


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